Today, I gave my 16 year-old step-daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me "the hypocritical pervert." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read, "My mom's a total pedo," after which she mentioned the talk. Her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML
Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
Today, like an idiot, I accidentally included stuff I learned from snooping in my daughter's secret diary during a conversation with her. She's not happy at me right now, so I may have to polish off my old grovelling skills from when I was still married to her mom. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML
Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML
Today, my stepdaughter unexpectedly got her first period during a visit. I explained everything to her, then took her to the store to buy supplies and snacks. Her mother called and cussed me out for “stealing” this experience from her. Yeah I totally planned it to happen this way. FML
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Top comments
two2 0
i'd be more concerned that her and her friends give each other bikini waxes
fuckyourlife8 0
Well the pervert thing is unjustified, but seriously, you can't tell her off for not respecting other people's privacy and then just walk into her room without knocking. Just apologise to her and let it serve as a reminder for next time to think before you go in there. She's a 16 year old girl, be glad she wasn't doing anything worse when you walked in!
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Comments (254)
leenheartlovex3 0
WTF why would they even do that to eachother???? THEY ARE GAY.
notanidiot 0
Wow, he has a right, it is his house, I am sure he paid for part of the living there, and I am sure he has some say lecturing on privacy, it is not a big deal to talk to some teens about, I barely moved out, I understood that I needed to keep out of my mom's and stepdad's stuff. If he told me something, I listened, since he was there, unlike my "real" dad. At the end of the day the guy is putting up with some other ladies kid from another man and allows the friends over and all that jazz, I think the people on the girl's side have their priorities all screwed up. He works, he contributes, he has a say in how things will be ran, only seems "fair." Unless of course she has a job and pays equal rent, then shame on him, but I highly doubt that.
Punderous 0
Sounds like you were in one HAIRY situation!
Jakojan 4
They are girls, #274. It's a girl thing. Us, being men, should not try to understand the reasoning of waxing each other. I also have never found the reasons they go to the bathroom in groups or all feel the need to cover their mouths with their hands when they're excited/shocked. *sigh*. The many mysteries of this world may never be solved.
happy_animal_lov 0
how do you "accedentally" walk into a room without knocking? and no, they won't forget it, they will be talking about it in years to come
varkey 7
Hold on a second, am I the only person that sides with the stepfather here? He has a right to know what his daughter is doing, I mean if they are engaging in sex acts (I assume he didn't even know she was lesbian) then he should know. Also, who the heck does that at home? If I am wrong that they were lesbian... then why would they be comfortable nude around each other, and doing such an intimate activity? This is just weird. FYL
fightingkittens 39
Have you no gray matter?
badfood 0
You guys are stupid. Its easy to accidentally walk in without knocking, cause you dont knock on every single door you walk thru. The reason why its an fml for him is cause he is now a hypocrite for it. He isnt her father, but a parent nonetheless, so he does have the right to lecture her. Otherwise, he wouldnt be parenting
dropkik19 2
tell her to invite me over next time
zandra335 0
wow....ydi
jesbar95 10
First off, you shouldn't be lecturing your step daughters friend, she isn't your child. If you have a problem talk to her parents. Second of all, if your stepdaughter has a friend over why would you be going into her room in the first place. You don't, you respect their privacy (ahem), and leave them be.