Sex, Awkward, Ableism and Intimacy: Stop, just stop

Stop, just stop

By Girl123999 - 04/03/2009 23:07 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he spank you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

agreeclassic 266 322

vote type 1 35 538

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By ooops - 04/08/2012 16:06 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 16:18 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

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By Ghostrui - 15/05/2022 04:00

Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML

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By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

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By Anonymous - 09/06/2009 08:14 - United States

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

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By Nails - 22/02/2009 03:16 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

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By Told_You_So - 09/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/07/2024 13:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I was in the "getting to know you" phase of dating a guy I recently met. We were talking about our families and I mentioned my dad died when I was young. He blurted out, “So, we get to have some of that kinky daddy issue sex then, huh?” I’m not sure if he was joking or not but still… FML

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Fight ****

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 10:00

Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML

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The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

agreeclassic 28 124

vote type 1 74 113

ObellaO 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 9:36

Quite honestly I appreciate the twisted humor =-)

thecheshirecat_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 9:48

your dad is kind of awesome =P

Comments

revieced 13

Thursday 5 March 2009 9:34

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

genius_man16 0

Monday 29 June 2009 16:34

So it's rude for parents to have a sense of humor? My god, what is the world coming too?

kah54 0

Thursday 23 July 2009 2:48

how is that "******* rude"??? they had a sence of humor or even a simple case of being ceriouse boo hoo not that hard to get over the min. of akwardness

adamABNORMAL 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 16:30

whats wrong with parents making light of the situation! she should count herself lucky his dick even works! :L

slackbheep 0

Friday 25 September 2009 14:41

Get a sense of humor.

bceltics2199 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 5:52

yur parents r awsome. thts great.....

IslandLove 0

Friday 28 May 2010 3:31

what's "rude" about that he was kidding? I wish mine could joke like that

HahaHillarious1 0

Sunday 22 May 2011 4:22

i like his name, (#1), deciever not reveiced it is reveiced backwards. nifty.

gman123999 14

Tuesday 6 March 2012 4:34

Well does he?

unicornlover13 8

Saturday 7 February 2015 3:19

It's rude. Is it not rude when someone says "go kill yourself" and they're 'just kidding'? No. It's not. Same thing right here.

TheRockhead9 5

Wednesday 4 November 2015 0:29

If it's funny within the context of the joke and it's between family and close friends, then no it isn't.

ObellaO 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 9:36

Quite honestly I appreciate the twisted humor =-)

psych21 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 8:13

I have to say, getting a mental image of some dude beating his girl with his prosthetic leg during sex is quite hilarious. If you imagine what the guy's face would look like while doing this, makes it even more hilarious. I practically died laughing...

Almightynikita 0

Friday 9 October 2009 0:36

Freaking hilarious, I gotta meet OPs dad one day.

thatguy626 0

Thursday 8 July 2010 17:06

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

GreatGeak 8

Thursday 18 November 2010 17:22

honestly I thought both comments were freaking hilarious!

Victor_90 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 9:43

hahahahahahahahha

thecheshirecat_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 9:48

your dad is kind of awesome =P

philipino 24

Wednesday 7 December 2011 5:16

You mean a BAMF? No? Okay. . .

JessxMaxine 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 9:49

lmao. Your parents sound like freaks.

Endymion_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 10:00

He does indeed sound awesome.

Goose_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 10:01

I don't really see what's so bad about that. At least you know that they don't have a problem with you guys having sex!

gracky_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 10:06

haaaaa!!!! lmao. really kinda funny.

Jimboom 11

Thursday 5 March 2009 10:12

Ha ha funny! Though if you wanted to be a sarcastic bastard back you should have said "No, but if you want I can borrow it from him to put the foot up your ass"