Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML
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Top comments
jake98899889 4
Whatever gets the job done. Right?
grahambertus 11
Yeah. At least a zombie isn't shallow, he loves you for your brains.
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Comments (157)
Fjeldfe 8
Well that's.... weird!
Enslaved 38
Zombies are determined to /eat you/! Who wouldn't get turned on by that? Nothing wrong with a little role play!
OfficeNinja 5
I have turned into "pussy monster" with my wife. I talk like cookie monster, except I am obsessed with pussy. You get the idea. It works. So what if you are into zombies - roll with it. Have fun.
FMLephant 2
Do you sing? P is for pussy, that's good enough for me...
RobDawgz 7
Zombies being a turn on? Unheard of.
Schizomaniac 24
Not anymore.
wildfiresgirl 7
Role playing! Not an uncommon turn-on! :-)
2amkid 0
its totally ok... I was married for 4 years and never had a ******, untill new years eve when i enjoy a night of un exspeted bliss with my best friend!
kenta_fml 0
This says nothing about him but volumes about how screwed up you are
my_usagi 0
Well maybe if he knew you were into the undead he would have gotten there a little sooner.
KevLar33 4
Just be sure to give him plenty of brain in return.
cajunjynx 0
Braaaaaaai.....wait, no, laaaaaaaaabbbbiiiiiaaaaaaaaaA