Work: Dirty old bat

Dirty old bat

By grannysmack - 04/07/2026 06:00 - United States

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 893

You deserved it 6 562

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

Random Next FML

Same thing different taste

Checked out

By Anonymous - 21/09/2019 16:01

Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 426

You deserved it 181

By rioght onnn - 20/05/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, while working at a restaurant, an elderly lady stuck my tip in my back pocket as I was walking away. I wish I knew this before I'd thrown her to the floor for touching my hiney. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 942

You deserved it 43 754

Pervy perv walks

By Cashier - 09/03/2011 05:36 - Canada

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 327

You deserved it 3 806

By Job Seeking - 22/01/2013 11:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 170

You deserved it 3 010

Thanks a bunch

By nose hurts - 30/12/2012 01:01 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 676

You deserved it 3 503

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 06:45 - United States

Today, I was working in a restaurant. I stopped to pick up some silverware a customer dropped. Apparently my belt wasn't tight enough because a woman behind me immediately hurled in disgust. On top of being found revolting, I'm now in trouble for "flashing" someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 491

You deserved it 7 165

Flattered

By Creeped out - 28/01/2013 08:14 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 224

You deserved it 3 716

Thanks, I guess…

By unsatisfied - 09/03/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 403

You deserved it 4 441

Nice try

By bigmouth - 02/08/2009 07:35 - United States

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 817

You deserved it 76 322

My eyes are up here

By LonelyCashier - 11/07/2019 20:00

Today, an old woman came into my store for help. Towards the end, she asked me my name. I told her while pointing at my name tag. She then replied, "Oh! I didn't notice since I was staring at your boobs. Much prettier to look at." Sadly, this is the first time I've been hit on in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 107

You deserved it 221

MaramaBreaksFace 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 16:01

Both, always both.

iowagirl1997 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 16:01

Ohh granny getting it on!!

Comments

HumansSuck 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 5:03

God, I hope I'm like that when I'm old

summersong89 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 5:46

ahahaha that's too funny! i'd like to meet this old woman. lol

2dollabootyholla 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 5:47

Dang, that kinda sucks. But, at least you have a nice enough butt to be slapped. So, go you. (:

AnaMaree 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 6:02

She was probably senile or had Alzheimer's and thought you were... Idk. FYL

KumoFF7 3

Sunday 12 July 2009 6:05

nice screen name lol.

LMFAOwhilereadin 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 6:47

lol thats funny i would be in an awkward moment. and feel both probably

Dranoel_Nyletak 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 7:11

What is it with these horny grannies? And why haven't I seen any of them?

Miss_delaney 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 7:34

shoot, when im old, im going to do so many things and get away with it.... and people will excuse it because im old and don't know any better.

CaptainBaconMan 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 7:43

Hey, it's happened to me before.

Guitarist45 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 8:32

dude, horrified? duh?

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Love Birds Proposal Miscellaneous My ex Family Fight Relatable Parents Racism Healthy Lifestyle Social Media Annoying Animals Horses Weird Poopoo peepee Football Sports LGBTQIA+ First Dates Money Kids Gross Smells Work Flooding Disappointment Art Intimacy

The Top

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 851

You deserved it 7 017

Today, I went to the drug store to pick up some Monistat for a yeast infection. As I was leaving the store, the security alarm went off. The attractive security guard asked to see my receipt, smiled, told me I looked nice, so I handed him the receipt. His face then abruptly changed to a look of disgust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 091

You deserved it 4 550

Today, I was backpacking, and I was in a tent. It had rained all day and finally, I was dry. I settled down in my slightly damp sleeping bag. I woke up halfway through the night with a frog on my face and my feet in freezing cold water. Our tent had drifted into a frog pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 439

Today, my 7 year-old daughter was counting all the money she made over the weekend from her lemonade stand. She made sixty dollars and said now she has more money than I do. She's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 221

Today I discovered the hard way that you can rip your own butthole. Not from having sex though, I ripped my own butt because I was constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 162

Today, I found out my daughter got married and didn’t even bother to tell anyone. She just turned up at a family get together with some random dude and introduced him as the guy she married two weeks ago while drunk. They’re now dating to see if the marriage will work out long term. I can’t even. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 169

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments