Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML
Today, after three weeks of my boss telling me how much he appreciates my hard work and has submitted my name up for a promotion, he called me into his office to announce I'm being laid off. FML
Today, my boss told me I may lose my job due to underperformance. I was shocked, as he'd previously mentioned that I was performing well, and that I was safe from the current company wide layoffs. I asked him what I need to improve on. He said that my instant messages to him are sometimes too long. FML
Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML
Today, while trying to get my boss to reconsider laying off much of my department, I accidentally convinced him to lay me off too. FML
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Today, after coming out of a meeting during which I promised my employees better wages, I was met at the door by my CEO telling me to lay off all the employees I just talked to. FML
Today, my boss got angry at me because my English is better than his. He accused me of trying to steal his management position, and implied that I'll be lucky if I still have a job by the end of the month. FML
Today, my boss came into the office asked how I was doing and seemed totally normal and happy, then said, "I have to let you go. I heard some bad things about you." He wouldn't tell me what he heard, or from whom. FML
Today, the CEO of my company wanted to meet with me. I was excited until I found out she just wanted to bitch me out and personally fire me. Later on, I found out my boss had totally shafted me and blamed the failure of a big project on me instead of admitting it was all his fault. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
VicRC 7
sorry to hear that, but maybe you should start looking for a new job
Vanillanougat 14
It sucks how bosses just hunt for any reason at all to fire people when the company is doing poorly. Wrong place, wrong time...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (58)
NashyzzleTheN 10
Satan...hahaha oh goodness.
CyberGothic 16
Sadly, that's how things work in the real world. Real unfair, real bass ackwards.
Black_Knight80 13
Having a boss like that isn't worth working for OP.
rockhead1270 5
Tell him there's a cemetery in town of people that couldn't be replaced. He is one.
Taolan 23
Better fire up the ol' resume and update your LinkedIn. File a complaint with HR. Start documenting -everything- he does negative to any employee in your section. If you're already on the 'list', go down swinging.
worldclassrager 41
You game a valid point...he should actually consider keeping you not firing you
XSeraphinX 18
Satan is not a part-timer anymore.
guineagirl 18
Hi satan
ratherblunt 6
Is it your job to report to the board? My guess is that it's not.
doctorhook86 25
Why the hell would the OP be presenting anything to the board of his employers if it wasn't his job?
ratherblunt 6
Why the hell would op be presenting anything to the board without approval of the boss? Nope, op deserves this one.
ceenguyenx 6
That's f*^#% up. Don't stress to much his karma will come