Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML
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Top comments
smiller0789 3
*wonders how old OP is*
SirAwesome 0
Why the "including the guy I like" part? I mean, how is it bad that he knows you're a woman?
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Comments (269)
ah_09 0
what`s the big deal ? i`m sure more than half the people in your contacts that are girls have a period too , everyone`s going to , ydi for whining about something stupid.
justjayit 0
HE'S the immature one, when you're the one spewing out your "witty" little back talk? Stupid teenager, get over yourself. If not out of morality, then at least because he does have authority over you, like how he stole the phone and did what he did.
TheKitsune 0
All I could understand was "I'm, like, a stereotypical stupid, like, teenager!!" Grow up, you worthless bint. By the way your dad is completely awesome and deserves a better more respectful daughter.
TotalPandamonium 2
Two wrongs don't make a right. =/ You're not a woman and he's an asshole.
nilnoc 0
Ur dads an immature dingdong
jadekp314 0
Funny. But that would really svck sorry about that!
Applesnbananas45 0
YDI for saying something stupid
titou9440 0
omfg, ur dad is ****** up! if I were you I'd punch him in his big stupid ass head.
City_at_war 0
Number 27 or 28...i forgot, You just admited that they were a woman once they got their period. "WOMEN can get their period as young as eight." Uhh, retard.
CarterColbie 4
No, you're wrong there. Some girls get it as young as 8 or 9. Plus, why would you even tell your dad that? Me and my dad keep stuff like that on a "don't need to know bases, your mother can handle it". And your dad is epic. Lmao.