Cursed underwear

By Anonymous - 23/11/2011 16:48 - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, I managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun. Unfortunately, I was wearing cheap new black underwear, and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob, making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar. I didn't get lucky. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 334
You deserved it 20 424
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

sirhobothesecond 3

clcbjj31- it means you're on your period.

142 1

Comments

UrLyfSuxx 0

Caterpillars ARE nasty. I had to read this FML once more to understand it.

22 88
briandunlikelmo 0

... Cockblocked by your underwear!

78 1
leogirl95 12

You've learned your lesson...never wear new cheap black underwear out.

19 1
Duoceros 22

YDI for being lazy and not washing them before you wore them.

36 6
gunmania0 12

I thought op was gonna say,'unfortunately I decided to wear my black lacy thong!'

26 1
bubble25_fml 5

27 better yet he shouldn't wear underwear at all. Underwear is overrated anyways.

15 3
Muslimgal92 0

What does caterpillar mean?

0 1
seanoc69 7

I next time don't be so cheap and you might get laid

4 10
baby_dee97 8

When I first read this I accidentally skipped the second to last line. Then I thought, " Well if you're calling your dick a caterpillar...you probably shouldn't get laid." LOL

1 6
ShroomsOnAcid 16

I don't know what you guys are smoking but I don't hear anything.

63 5
Occums_Razor 0

Says "ShroomsOnAcid". Maybe it's you who needs to lay off the drugs..

32 6
FriscoKidz 10

And maybe you need to try more drugs. It can go both ways my sober friend.

22 5
ShroomsOnAcid 16

Oh 88, you are so funni. Pointing out my name like that and all.

21 20
SystemofaBlink41 27

Maybe she has a weird fleshy caterpillar fetish?

3 2
greatness101 0

Well, he says he didn't get lucky, so I doubt it.

5 1
Dr_Jalepenos 0

Thats why i always read them while in the bathroom. U guys didnt need to know that......

98 1
sickjairo 7

The fibers got stuck to it because you were wet man.

37 2
meganfoxsbitch 0

This sounds like an fml for her!! Today I almost f****d a guy with a caterpillar for a penis..

36 0
TrixER 6

Cockblocked by his own dick

17 0
danielreader22 4

Thank you for that insightful comment.

61 5
mnmolino 14

Wait... I thought black underwear ment you weren't a virgin....

15 86
markrs 0

White underwear means you're pure. Cream underwear means you're tainted. Black underwear means you're a freak in the sheets ;p

80 3
sirhobothesecond 3

clcbjj31- it means you're on your period.

142 1
flockz 19

and ones with dick patterns on it usually mean you're gay.

69 1
iammenotyoi 4

Chershire2012-- Thats just nasty You sick ****

70 2
briandunlikelmo 0

rainbow undies=gay?

28 3
nerdpower_fml 1

47 - nope, that means you're a Rastafarian

27 6
HannahPaloozah 0

48- only red yellow and green would be a Rastafarian

13 4
jessesgirl14 16

22- red panties mean you stole them from the store because your mom wouldn't buy them for you because they were satan's panties!

39 27
Llama_Face89 33

67- WOW! That's an OLD one! Nice reference. :P

21 3
Meowingtons500 18

67- I remember that quote from a movie, but not sure which one. What was it? :)

2 3
Meowingtons500 18

I remember, Miss Congeniality! I love that movie! :D

3 3
theunwiseone 4

What kind of penis shaped caterpillars have u got in the U.K?

105 5
juturnaamo 29

They don't circumcise.

4 20
Dr_Jalepenos 0

"you probably thought this was a caterpillar.....No! Just Chuck Testa."

17 4
ShroomsOnAcid 16

"You probably thought this penis was alive...Nooope its just Chuck Testa!" *pops out in between legs*

22 1
perdix 29

I see an Eric Carle picture book coming out of this story, "The Angry Caterpillar with Blue Balls." Hopefully, the kids won't ask why the caterpillar has only one eye and bulging veins (insects don't have circulatory systems.)

85 4
perdix 29

Just because I choose to save it doesn't mean I haven't had chances to lose it. Ok, I haven't had chances to lose it, but you couldn't have inferred that from my comment :(

14 0