Intimacy: Crossed wires

Crossed wires

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 20:36 - Canada

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 438

You deserved it 43 848

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
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Same thing different taste

By Roxy19 - 22/01/2013 06:50 - United States - San Diego

Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 382

You deserved it 39 496

By Kaji - 14/11/2008 11:20 - France

Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 532

You deserved it 24 104

Whatsapp? Not much

By Cat - 12/04/2019 19:00 - Greece - Athens

Today, I was Whatsapping my boyfriend, as I am away for work. Before talking to him, I texted my work group I wasn’t feeling well after they invited me out. As I was chatting with what I thought was my boyfriend, I said, “I want your penis inside me.” And then realized I'd texted my work group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 3 716

By luvlessbootycall - 24/07/2010 05:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back, "I love you too." Before I even got done, he messaged again saying, "Can you send a pic of your tits to me now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 754

You deserved it 6 880

By DreeStahr - 30/09/2016 04:05 - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 891

You deserved it 1 377

Bad timing

By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - 02/06/2013 20:48 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 644

You deserved it 6 626

Nice try

By Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 408

You deserved it 31 973

Deep fake

By ohtheshame - 02/05/2011 08:34

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 944

You deserved it 10 748

By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 621

You deserved it 33 103

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 067

You deserved it 7 760

MissHumanoid 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 1:30

Hahaha..I'd like to hear the aftermath of this one . :D

smiller0789 3

Sunday 28 November 2010 1:31

That'd be even more awkward if your trainer is male.

Comments

dannyboy66 7

Sunday 28 November 2010 2:59

is ur trainer a man

omghellokitty90 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 3:03

your awaiting the respond?? dude Wtf your supposed to say wrong number..

starile 19

Sunday 28 November 2010 9:47

Not if he wants to explore the possibilities..

Shorty_Shaza 5

Sunday 28 November 2010 3:13

who says '*******'?? Lol

rockhound 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 3:57

every1luvstitties

deannoz 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 5:25

^ This.

jakegryan 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 7:03

i do, and every other 12-50 year old male... if u love tittiez just scream it aloud!

Draminicaus 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 9:03

You can't say ******* without giggling a little on the inside. Kinda like how you can't say wiener in a serious conversation.

_krispy 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 9:32

hahaha touche

123zc1 3

Sunday 28 November 2010 3:25

Who said the trainer is a woman?

dannyboy66 7

Sunday 28 November 2010 5:34

exactly

Draminicaus 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 9:06

Well, if his trainer is a male and he isn't sending "Wrong number" texts, then the OP should break-up with his girlfriend. Just a thought.

Yasmine1991 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 3:25

lol very wrong number !

ersa1802 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 3:30

atta boy.

iloveloosy12 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 3:58

just watch shell say he'll yeahss

boopityboppity 11

Sunday 28 November 2010 4:04

"Someone help, I'm being strangled"?

DocBastard 38

Sunday 28 November 2010 6:00

Boners, my Idiot-English translation engine does the job for me: "Just you wait and see. She (the trainer) will say, 'Hell yeah!'" You're welcome.

AthinaMarie 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 11:09

Lmao! ^ Can always count on Boopityboppity and docs comments to make me laugh xD

notsoluckypup 12

Sunday 28 November 2010 4:04

double FML if ur trainer if a dude... xP

notsoluckypup 12

Sunday 28 November 2010 4:07

is*

boopityboppity 11

Sunday 28 November 2010 4:14

And *Double. And *your.

Blazingcrono 6

Sunday 28 November 2010 11:51

You can't start a sentence with "and" bro.

derplol 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 13:43

Yes you can. You just have to be careful when you do.

DRush_fml 12

Sunday 28 November 2010 4:12

How do you "accidentally" write that?? YDI!

ItsJustMak 0

Sunday 28 November 2010 4:57

it was for his girlfriend not the trainer

nickmeier1 4

Sunday 24 July 2011 7:10

Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Birthday Family Money Gifts Mother in law Parents Public freakouts Education Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

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I agree, your life sucks 13 810

You deserved it 51 975

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I agree, your life sucks 63 848

You deserved it 3 280