They aren't; they can: 1. Verify your address to future employers 2. Give your address to any law enforcement 3. Keep your file saved with your address for as long as their company requires them to 4. Disclose your address for tax purposes That is about it.

That is good to know thank you for the info

3 better words: Conceal carry permit

1 word: Norway

How do you know they don't have one against the ex? They moved to Norway, their laws are different than the US. And Just because someone doesn't call the police doesn't make it any less serious. Maybe you should be beaten emotionally or physically by your SO so you know exactly how it feels no matter how small the abuse is. Besides, a restraining order is just a piece of paper. It doesn't actually stop the person from hurting you. You can be dead by the time the police get there.

Gross. Keep your victim blaming BS to yourself. It's not super easy to get a restraining order. I couldn't get one on my ex despite bruised and beaten and evidence of sexual assault because he had a "bad childhood" the judge was more sympathetic to him than me. The law is ****** in many cases. Thank God we can move away from the assholes. Looking for "holes" in a victims story - especially when you know an FML has limited space for details - is ****** up on so many levels.

You did find a smarter judge and got the restraining order, right?

1) I'm not taking any sides, or trying to sympathize with either of them. Lol 2) I'm against abuse. Obviously. 3) OP just said "violent ex," what's violent to them? Stern talking? Someone that likes to box/fight? OP didn't say anything about being abused. OP didn't say they moved because of their ex, they could've moved for a job, or to be closer to family. You're jumping to conclusions and assuming the worst. Duh, I know FML'S are limited. Hence why I put, "What I want to know..." And then proceeded to list what I wish I knew. All what I was trying to state was I wish I knew more about the FML. I wish OP would do a follow up.

#35: If you're referring to me, yes. About 4 months after there was more evidence and a new attempt which was successful. But my point was its not so easy as "ah just pick up a restraining order!" like #23 implied, it's a horrible process (in my experience). I hope the OP can stay safe despite her boss. Living in fear of a person is such bullshit.

Ok, this isn't rocket science. The term "violent" means aggressive, vicious, and abusive, they're literally synonyms. When someone says "violent person" or "violent ex" it means they were aggressive and abusive to them. This is how language works, do you understand now? Also, do you even know how difficult abuse crimes are in the justice system? Pressing charges is difficult, often because the abuser will threaten to kill their victim or their loved ones, and has leverage over them (they support them, they have no where else to go, they make them feel literally worthless like no one will ever help them etc). If charges are pressed, the abuser can get off completely or get out quickly, sometimes even in just a few months, and then they come after them again. Restraining orders, depending on the place, also takes a lot of time and paper work to get, and that's assuming you get a judge that will actually grant one at all. "It couldn't have been that bad," any type of violence in a relationship is bad, wtf?

Fun fact: i went to the police when my ex attacked me and they did nothing but call him and tell him i was there. Maybe OP did go to the police. You are making horrible assumptions blaming them

^ sorry, his boss. didn't realise OP was male. just to add: male victims of abuse probably have an even harder job to get a restraining order because so many people believe men can't be abused/raped/whatever. sucks all around, man.

To add to what the others were saying rather than repeat: is it also common for an ex to find out from a previous boss where they moved to find you?

Wow you must be a pretty lousy person if you're going to question the words "violent ex". The word violence is doesn't usually get thrown around lightly when talking about an abusive ex. You need to cut the victim blaming bullshit and be thankful you've never been in this situation. You have multiple people telling you that going to the cops and getting a restraining order isn't as easy as it sounds so you really need to stfu. Also, those restraining orders are just a piece of paper, they don't come with a chip that shocks them if they come too close.

People like you are the reason abuse victims have such a hard time after the fact.