Wanker and Intimacy: Creepy

Creepy

By Thank God I Flush Them Down The Toilet - 26/09/2015 01:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked into my room and watched as my fanatically religious mother sniffed the used tissues in my trash bin to make sure I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 595

You deserved it 2 240

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Same thing different taste

Got the sniffles

By Jizzyface - 29/12/2013 12:36 - United Kingdom - Wilmslow

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 369

You deserved it 28 885

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 05:28 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 072

You deserved it 2 787

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 745

You deserved it 5 862

By laughingflame - 04/08/2011 06:00 - United States

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 151

You deserved it 12 920

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 422

You deserved it 739

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 274

You deserved it 2 444

No fun allowed

By but cum to think of it... - 03/07/2015 21:29

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 359

You deserved it 2 280

Classy

By bkay26 - 29/08/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 798

You deserved it 7 643

Caught red-handed

By caught - 09/01/2012 00:43 - United States

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 324

You deserved it 36 278

WTF roomie?

By JN5SLK - 08/11/2013 22:29 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 059

You deserved it 4 642

spinda 22

Saturday 26 September 2015 19:55

WTF. That's ******* gross and creepy.

sturschaedel 27

Saturday 26 September 2015 19:53

She just doesn't want you to go blind.

Comments

Wintermelons 19

Monday 18 December 2017 6:18

Oh Lawdy

1gullible_bugger 33

Sunday 3 June 2018 3:09

Flush, man flush, then there's nothing to sniff. That's just weird.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I sent a forward to the ladies at my office. When I scrolled down I noticed my personal emails from my best friend were attached. They go into great detail about the sex I had last night, when I was planning on dumping my boyfriend, and that I suspected I had an anal fissure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 61 297

Today, my best friend asked if I'd join him and his girlfriend for a 3-way. Since I've always had a crush on his girlfriend, I eagerly agreed. When I got there, I learned that their idea of a 3-way was them watching me jerk off while I watched them have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 572

You deserved it 2 672

The Top

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 554

You deserved it 9 078

Today, I ran into my roommate coming home at 9 a.m. She was wearing nice clothes, but somehow looked a bit run down. Figuring she was just coming back from a fun night out, I poked fun at her for coming home wearing last night's getup. Turns out it was a fresh outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 746

Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 296

You deserved it 2 825

Today, my mother-in-law became my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 768

You deserved it 1 980

Today, I saw my dad driving our red Dakota, and I thought it would be funny to tail him around town. It wasn't until I saw cop lights flashing in my rear-view mirror that I remembered that we'd given away our red truck. I'd scared an old lady so badly that she called the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 2 685

Today, I woke up with a carpet burn. From sleeping. Alone. In my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 162