Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
Today, I told my students that I would be absent tomorrow because my wife was giving birth. They burst into applause... not to congratulate me on the new baby. FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML
Today, I found out my sex-ed teacher from high school was married and had her first child while she herself was still in high school. Looks like she didn't pay enough attention in sex-ed. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML
Today, a senior girl in my college-level biology course asked our professor what periods are like when you’re pregnant. FML
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Top comments
Leeono 26
Well they’re not wrong....
NostalgiaFreak9 43
You must be dreading that call home.
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Comments (19)
Lobby_Bee 18
It's not sex, it's called making love.
Dave_Davington 34
Ugh, I hate that expression. I'm not the only one, right?
Nancy Mays 2
I’m a nurse - at a nursing home where I worked a few years ago one of my fellow nurses was about to pop pregnant. She worked until her due date. She walked by a little 90+ year old Pentecostal lady with dementia one day and the lady pointed and said “oh, she’s pregnant!” The aide sitting beside the lady said “she sure is. You know how she got that way?” Of course that opened the door - the little lady said as loudly as she could, “I sure do - she was a-f*****g!” Loud enough for every resident and several staff members a good ways away to hear. The aide learned not to ask questions she didn’t really want an answer to 😂
donb23 23
Well....smart kid is all I can say.
Amanda Jaworski 23
Smart kid, you must be a really good teacher!
DanielleinDC 34
Well, at least someone is teaching that kid the facts of life.
Takegami 22
Little ***** have no idea what they’re talking about