Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went out to start my car to go to work. When it wouldn't start, I popped the hood to see what was wrong. Some kind individual took advantage of the fact that my window doesn't roll up, and stole my battery. FML
Today, I went out to my car to run some errands. It wouldn't start. I called AAA, only to find out my battery wasn't dead, it was stolen. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML
Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML
Today, I picked up my car from the repair shop, drove two miles, and ran out of gas. I then walked to get gas, put a gallon of gas in the car, and tried to start it. The battery was too weak to start the car, and died on the spot. FML
Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML
Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML
Today, I pulled into a parking lot, for the car to simply shut off because I ran out of gas. Then I couldn't get the key out of the ignition, so I called my dad, who walked all the way to where I was, only to find out that the car was still in drive. FML
Today, I got into my car and it wouldn't start. I noticed I had left the lights on and assumed the battery was dead. Then, I couldn't get my key out of the ignition. So, I called AAA only to have the guy put my car in park and start the engine. FML
Today, I borrowed a roommate's car to get groceries. I came out to find the car stolen. I called the cops, and the responding officer took the info and drove me home to give the roomie the bad news in person. 15 minutes later, they found the car. I'd parked it on the opposite side of the lot. FML
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Top comments
Phusion 0
who the **** drives to the police station to report a theft? have you heard of a telephone?!?
swartm34 0
**** your neighborhood
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Comments (58)
MagneticGuitar 0
Nice neighbourhood.
happyhak 5
Did someone swindle your tyres while they were at it?
CallMeHush 0
Just a thought, you might want to look outside every now and then. And all those suspicious noises at night, there is a reason they are called suspicious .
Jeef27 0
ouch! so did you take the battery out of your car and put it in your mom's car? lol
Sofamonster 0
Omg, someone is stealing a whole car, piece by piece!
twistedspeaker 0
Who the hell goes to the police to report a stolen car battery? That makes no sense.
Jonathan33 0
that's sooo gangsta son! haha suburbs these days...always trying to be ghetto
lifesfailure 4
just take the battery from your car and put it into your mom's can and say that somebody stole your gas and your battery
thatbloke 0
Car batteries aren't always interchangeable.
whatsisface 0
it's called a phone
COBRAMORPH 0
Considering you are a woman, you probly just ran out of gas.
eleutheros 3
Seriously, cut out that sexist shit, man.