Cheeky

By Jane - 07/12/2009 10:33 - United States

Spicy
Today, I found out the weekly coffee talks my husband was having with his ex-girlfriend stopped involving coffee about 2 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 853
You deserved it 21 352

Same thing different taste

Top comments

It took you how many years to realize that private meetings between him and his ex could be a problem?

mari3644 0

Why was he even having "talks" with his ex girlfriend??

Comments

InstaKarma 0

ha ha ha #11 FTW But OP I would say FYL not because he cheated, but because you don't know how to have enough self respect to say NO to two years of weekly "coffee" with his ex.

biteyourtongue 0

Okay. Being on good terms with an ex is fine. Weekly private meetings is not.

youthink_fml 0

Every week? Not with you? Trust is one thing. This is just stupid on your part. YDI.

she doesn't deserve it, although she has a small part of guilt - should have put her foot down on these meetings (which have been going on for more that 2 yrs it seems). must be true that a very small dose of jealousy is healthy in a relationship...

The YDI here isn't that she was cheated on, it was that she was so naive that she didn't see something was going on right in front of her face and she was letting it happen. No one deserves to be cheated on, I don't think anyone here is saying that, but some responsibility has to be taken for ignoring the signs that something could be happening. If one person in a household was the one responsible for the checking account and each week they noticed $100 was missing but said nothing, then 2+ years later, they found out their spouse was spending it on something harmful, you're not going to sit back and say that person wasn't at fault when they noticed it for years and said nothing now are you?

TheTruth1428 - there is a difference between the OP's story and your analogy. In your analogy, the person sees that there is money missing but doesn't try to find out what's happening to it. In the OP's story, she saw her husband was going out but she THOUGHT she knew what was happening - that they were just having coffee. When obviously they weren't. So to make your analogy more accurate, it would be like saying someone responsible for the checking account sees $100 go missing every week, asks the partner why, the partner says it's to pay off the car loan when really they're spending it on booze. THAT is the more accurate analogy, because the person responsible for the checking account (the equivalent of the OP) HAS tried to find out what is happening, but the other person lied.

some responsibility has to be taken for ignoring the signs that something could be happening. how does that even make sense? her noticing doesn't negate his offense - whether she knew about it or not, he still cheated. she has no "responsibility" in that sense because, being her husband, he's kind of under legal obligation to NOT cheat and be a dickface and she is supposed to feel safe in trusting him - so he's doing everything wrong and she's doing everything right - she has no fault in this.

catastrophicsock 0

To still be friends with your ex is one thing and is okay. But to go out weekly for "coffee talks" is a complete other. How could you ever just blindly let him do that? Are you stupid!?

Since it took you two years to realise something that obvious; may I ask how you finally found out?

Coffee talks don't last that long... should've had a clue

I'm confused as to why you just let him go on coffee dates with one of his ex girlfriends O_o I mean, it's fine to be on good terms with an ex, it's just not okay to be seeing them every week for coffee when you have a wife. I dont want to say you deserve it because no one deserves to be cheated on, but you should have probably known better. At least now you know what a scumbag he is and you should throw him away!

Titans_Matt 0

Hold up.....you let him go out of "coffee talks" with his ex girlfriend for 2 years....Honestly where in your mind did you think that was a good idea. That was stupid and you totally deserve it for that.