Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
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Top comments
NYC_Yoshi 3
don't ask for the truth if you can't handle it.
JacksonCampbell 9
I really hate being put in the situation where you don't know if you should tell the truth or not. I, however, applaud the waiter. He did neither.
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Comments (154)
YeloHaus 0
"To their face".
dudeitsdanny 10
This almost reminds me of "She Loves Me", when Dear Friend doesn't show up and the waiter tells Amelia she's "not model material", but not ugly enough to get stood up, haha. So, was he really late, OP, or did he stand you up?
mintcar 10
Your waiter is an idiot for telling the truth. Now he or she might not receive a large tip.
mycookiezz 0
Well it was a "blind" date so it would be acceptable for you to be ugly as sin, correct? lol, that's sarcasm
qwert1994 0
Burned By A Waiter.
malisa916 7
Maybe the waiter figured you looked like crap, would probably tip crappy, so he didn't bother to even try to lie to get a good tip from you. Try a little mascara next time.
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
take your own advice
emmiep1011 7
well there must be a reason you're on a blind date and he's late...
willxxmobb 0
i can't message u! do you got a facebook?
ColorfulDonut 7
haha lol I moderated this and laughed my ass of the first time
LardZilla 11
Do you want a prize for moderating this? it seemed like a VERY hard thing to do.
ElZamo 0
well... he just did...
Calyx_fml 22
That wasn't the waiter. It was your date.