Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
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Top comments
NYC_Yoshi 3
don't ask for the truth if you can't handle it.
JacksonCampbell 9
I really hate being put in the situation where you don't know if you should tell the truth or not. I, however, applaud the waiter. He did neither.
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Comments (154)
vbmg152 19
That was mean, rude and unnecessary! I hope U reported him to the manager!
Got_any_grapes1 4
That joke was not very funny. You should have told him you had some tips on the subject, considering that would be the only tip he would get.
SnailJamsss 6
so how'd the date go?
Interstate74 0
I think he just broke company policy...
xcrazyforyouu 2
I hope you didn't tip him that was just plain rude what he said to you op.
ajsciri4 0
some people look better without makeup, maybe she was wearing too much
reddwarf_fml 0
ok but did the blind date ever show?
Kowalskim89 0
Lol thats a horrible thing for someone to say to you but damn thats funny. Made my mornin thats for sure.
dadof2 4
i hope u didnt tip well
Flutist 3
I hope she walked out.
Allymeme 3
ha ha you're ugly! might as well give up on finding someone now
Flutist 3
and you're an asshole.
TayLovesMattx3 0
douche. Your the one sitting around on your computer. :) And you dont even know what she looks like. Soooo, stfu.