Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that, "It's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. There was a hot waiter who kept passing by. He saw me looking at him and I knew I had to say something. So when he approached my table I asked, "Excuse me, do you have any salt?" and he said, "I think it's right there on the table." FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I went on my first date in months. My mum had invited friends over, and when I told them I was going out on a date, my mum said "No you're not, don't lie. Who would go out with you?" FML
Today, my company was having a huge party so I went to work dressed in my best outfit. During lunch break, my boss said to me, "You really missed out on something yesterday, it was great fun!" FML
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
Today, whilst out shopping with my crush, I decided to jokingly try on a silly-looking dress in an overly-expensive shop. Apparently I took the wrong size as I couldn't get out. Not only did the shop assistants have to publicly cut me out of the dress, I had to pay for it. FML
Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML
Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NYC_Yoshi 3
don't ask for the truth if you can't handle it.
JacksonCampbell 9
I really hate being put in the situation where you don't know if you should tell the truth or not. I, however, applaud the waiter. He did neither.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (154)
dvl2035 10
all of u Sayin report the waiter are idiots. OP can't handle the truth so OP shouldn't have asked.
mzfoxy31 0
Amen to that!!! Who asks a stranger how they look?? Who cares?!! Sheesh!!!
e2m2cent 0
truths always bitter .. well I guess he didn't get a tip
HannahLouise96 13
Well, SOMEBODY'S not getting a tip!
liongrou_fml 4
ha ha i love that guy!
SmittyJA24 26
I'm curious: Did the "blind date" guy ever show?? Inquiring minds want to know....
pinkspaceboundro 0
I would have said, oops well there went your tip!
shakeTHEworld 12
I think he's just messing with you, you know, you fussing about your looks and all.
mzfoxy31 0
U must have already known the answer! A pretty girl never asks anyone (especially a waiter) how she looks!!!lol....YDI for fishing for compliments!
CateXOX 0
Well you did ask his opinion. Would you have preferred him to lie?
bonerlicious23 0
today, I made fun of one of my ugly customers that was on a blind date and she didn't leave me a tip. FML
Djzom13 0
Screw you, heartless bastard :) have a nice day!