Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML
Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML
Today, while I was at a restaurant, my drink had a straw that made a very obnoxious sound whenever I drank from it. Everyone near me was giving disapproving looks. I wasn't doing it on purpose, but they weren't buying it. Even after I got a new straw that didn't make an annoying sound, they still didn't believe me. FML
Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me being a slow drinker, so I tried to impress her by chugging the rest of my glass. She was impressed with how fast I chugged my beer, until it came back up. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
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Top comments
Melix 31
.....Did it work?
BassTurdo 22
I find that seductive
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Comments (91)
SunTzu2 9
Mmmmm Cunning.....
Black_Knight80 13
Did it work? cause I might try it lol
kilullu 16
Haha
CanyonRose 16
What did they say in response?
the_zero_article 15
"Hawt."
EpicSquishii 21
I do that a lot when speaking with people if I'm holding a cup or bottle with a straw in it. I often miss the straw completely for a few seconds. People usually just giggle and call me a spaz or a dumbass. Pretty sure your date would also have simply laughed at you and forgotten about it if you'd joked about it with them :-)
buttcramp 21
yeah, I feel like we have all done this before. On a date though, I can see how that'd be embarrassing. OP, this needs a follow up. I wanna know if the date went well from here or how bad it ended up getting.
OptimusVader 23
Still not as bad as missing the straw and having it get stuck in your nose.
OhWhoCares 42
Still could be worse, as the impact of the straw in your nose may shock you into launching an accidental snot rocket in an attempt to get rid of the invading straw...
Schizomaniac 24
Alright take it easy pal.
Karenezzy 20
I don't think that's creepy at all!
Fatwahhh 10
Okay honestly, at one point, you should've at least looked down to find it. You shouldn't have to keep wiggling your tongue to find it; just look down. Your date won't be offended if you take your eyes off him for a second.
kevnotmyday645 7
your date was probably like " ohh man, that was quick didn't even have to work for it"
Earths_Venus 25
My date did that to me once, we ended up turning it into a joke and went on 3 more dates before he told me he had herpes :(
ksks1234 33
Wow! That took an unexpected turn!
swick25 22
@20. ya and? use protection or do not have sex when he has or even thinks he is getting an outbreak. at least he was honest with you about it, unlike most people who have it and do not tell their partners.
dabomb0513 10
At least he told you.
buttcramp 21
you can still get it between outbreaks!
cryssycakesx3 23
yes, #38 so sick of people thinking you can't get it without an outbreak. if that were the case, why would people have sex with each other with sores on their units?
nes_346 10
Hopefully they had a good sense of humor and just laughed about it :)
spikekutter 9
i think i would be honest about it and say oh, i thought there was a straw and then laughed it off..