Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML
Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML
Today, while I was at a restaurant, my drink had a straw that made a very obnoxious sound whenever I drank from it. Everyone near me was giving disapproving looks. I wasn't doing it on purpose, but they weren't buying it. Even after I got a new straw that didn't make an annoying sound, they still didn't believe me. FML
Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me being a slow drinker, so I tried to impress her by chugging the rest of my glass. She was impressed with how fast I chugged my beer, until it came back up. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
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Top comments
Melix 31
.....Did it work?
BassTurdo 22
I find that seductive
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Comments (91)
aamir251 18
I think that's cute. He must've gone awww and then chuckled
slkeithh 14
Literally laughed to tears once reading this. Nice job, OP, hope your date had a light heart and a good sense of humor!
tranced_ 45
atleast you had a date unlike some people who are forever-alone *sobbing*
damnit1989 16
Omg I laughed so hard!!! So did my friends. Hahahahaha
JohnTheLad 13
Haha! You are a crazy man, so awesome.
yerawizardlizzy 27
OP is female.
JohnTheLad 13
My mistake, still very cool though.
Breegotcake 14
I wouldn't find that creepy at out; just the thought of it seriously made me laugh. :)
gabriellemary 2
hahahaha thats ******* hilarious
brandoneyez1 25
Be yourself and relax. Women like confident men.
KingofBogans 7
She's a girl dude!
AngryRabbit 2
A girl dude? Oh my. :O
BradTheBrony 19
It's not even a matter of confidence, or gender. The worst thing one can do in this situation is keep quite about it. What would drive you away from a person more, an honest mistake or this weird, unexplained tongue-wriggling... thing that they do?
honeymoonroyale 20
I've never laughed so hard at an FML lol, sorry OP. Did your date say anything about it?
hellnosucka 27
how long did you leave your tongue hanging out for?