Today, my jeans got caught in the airport escalators. Seeing as how we couldn't get them unstuck, my mother made me take them off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was stood on an escalator, my shoelace got caught in the step. Panicking, I tried to pull it out, but my shoe came off. I had to awkwardly hop back down the escalator to retrieve it while everyone around me in the mall watched. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML
Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it, one bag came open and all the clothes spilled out onto the tarmac. The clothes looked familiar. They were mine. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was feeling good about it, until I realized that I'd forgotten my workout clothes and was wearing jeans. As I attempted to do squats in my tight jeans, I split them down the middle. FML
Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that I had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML
Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a job at a trendy clothing store in the mall. Trying to be supportive, I went to visit him and tried something on. I got stuck in the jeans and had to call my boyfriend, who sent the manager to pull the jeans off me. FML
Today, I embarrassed myself by screaming for help in a crowded mall when my shoelace got stuck at the top of the escalator. Someone behind me kicked the shoelace and it came out easily. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MrSuperEmoticons 3
You gotta let your mom know that strip teases aren't free. People gotta lay out the dough, first.
singerlove 14
The escalator just wanted to be invited to the party in your pants, that's all...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (164)
Ugi 27
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
In what way is this your mother's fault? You were planning on staying there all day or you had an alternative method of freeing yourself? Hope you weren't "going commando" but you have to see that's the pragmatic solution.
Torva_fml 16
Huh?
T1A2Z3 35
She could have ripped or cut herself free instead of getting half naked...
DrMime 10
You can get kicked off your flight for sagging your pants these days! However, no pants is a whole other balk game, try wearing your shirt on your legs and your bra on your neck to send those TSA agents scrambling for the training manual! Brings a new low to the 'frisky friskers' at those places...
guitarboy574 0
What's a balk game
DrMime 10
Look up the word 'balk'. It's an intelligent pun, for intelligent people.
perdix 31
Too bad you were going commando to give the security guy a nice eyeful.
kamikrazy 6
Weird...a thumbs down comment from perdix?
DrMime 10
Like the naughty parts of Madonna without crisco, he's hit a dry spell! Don't thumb it up unless your thumb is coated in butter.
perdix 31
#101, it happens all the time. #110, what are you talking about? I had some good ones about the Miley Cyrus and the T-shirt stories. I'm getting a fair share of hits along with the misses. Jeez, now I know how a pro baseball player feels!
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Escalators scare the hell out of me. When I was 11 my shoe got caught in one and the escalator gimped out and malfunctioned. Those were the days....
Kcloudnine 0
O was scared of them I'm still kinda am now. Once I fell in one that was going up I kept falling down caus wit wouldn't stop
bubo_fml 11
Were you going 'commando?' (fap, fap, fap...)
drawmesunshine 17
That is really, really creepy..
DrMime 10
Not as creepy as pulling back your blinds in the morning and seeing a man in a full bunny custume holding a cleaver. Or as creepy as a stranger with a mask at night asking you for the information of your rape insurance provider...
Hyde_is_Back 4
That first 1 sounded like that cheesy Bunnyman movie.
lantern 6
Donnie Darko?
Spazz420 7
Hopefully u remembered the 'always put on clean underwear before u leave the house' rule. Or just open your suitcase and put on something else
perdix 31
Maybe your mom is trying to get you married off. Lots of well-to-do men are at airports. Maybe if you showed some skin, one of them might take you off your mom's hands.
Fmeonce_shameonu 15
Were you wearing granny panties?
harbqll 0
You couldn't use your pocket knife to cut yourself free?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Are you stupid? You can't carry pocket knives in the airport.
rubberduckie94 13
While passengers can not carry such things I would think airport staff(medics) would have some type of scissors they could come over and cut her free. Seems they would have done that before they had a youngling strip down in front of everyone. I think mom jumped the gun
TheDrifter 24
You and your wacky "logic". Having op undress for the travellers was certainly the best idea.
rubberduckie94 13
Oh you caught me being wacky! ; ). Here I thought no one would notice.
Rocky007 15
Hmmm. Escalators as a way to get a girl out of her pants. How can I use this information?