Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went to college. At the store, he got a huge box of condoms. When I asked why he was getting so many, he said they were for the girls he meets at college. He then asked me to steal them for him. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went to college. At the store, he got a huge box of condoms. When I asked why he was getting so many, he said they were for the girls he meets at college. He then asked me to steal them for him. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, with whom I've been with for four years. I've been in Australia for the last two months and before I left, he bought a box of 12 condoms, saying we would use them when I got back. We went to the bedroom and I opened the box. There was one left. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML
Today, the guy that I have been seeing for over a year left on a business trip. While straightening out his room as a favor, I noticed he took his condoms with him. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML
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Top comments
Lythiaren 8
Dump him then. He just told you he planned to cheat on you. YDI if you got them anyway.
FYLDeep 26
For whatever reason I think that there would have been signs that he was an asshole much early in the relationship.
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Comments (132)
lw15 0
Hope you dumped his sorry arse. A dick like that doesn't deserve you
cinnomonroll 0
u should dump him he's an idiot and #4- cute picture
lol_ironic_life 9
He sucks :( kick him to the curb it's time for a new boyfriend! :)
SDMF 0
What a dbag.
taetay2010j 0
I sure hope u didn't Steal it for him or ud be a complete idiot and deserve it
1kings67 0
he's probably joking....buy magnums and say they're for all the well endowed men I'm going to sleep with
foxy1222 0
he's a keep in someone elses bedroom dumb the bastard OP instead of nagging about it on FML.
foxy1222 0
for phustuercluck I don't know if he's either spelling these words wrong or I have no clue what the words are.
Spastastic 6
Are you talking about when he said "sofaking"? It's a reference to an SNL sketch involving a commercial for a furniture store called "Sofa King". They say things such as, "it's Sofa King good!" At least I'm pretty sure it is, haha.
Freeze_fml 17
I'm sure I've heard the phrase way before SNL tried it. I remember it was on ATHF but I think I've heard it before that as well.
Freeze_fml 17
I get the feeling that you're some nagging friend who pretends the guy you're hanging out with is your boyfriend.
vickycat 5
If this is the last day you guys are together before he leaves...did you guys not have any conversation til now about what your plans are relationship-wise after he leaves? It doesn't sound likely that 3 days ago he promised he would be faithful to you while he was away and that he would love you forever ....so I'm thinking you kinda deserve it for assuming. Also, I'm certain he was an asshole before asking you to steal condoms he can use to sleep with other girls, so you also deserve it for short-changing, or at best, deluding yourself.