Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML
Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML
Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML
Today, I was joking to mom that at the rate I’m going I’ll have to start an OnlyFans to afford college next year. She shrugged like it was nothing because apparently prostitution got her through college and bought her her first house before she accidentally got pregnant with me. Um, WHAT? FML
Today, as an April fools day joke, I decided to tell my mom and dad that I was gay. After an awkward silence, my mom looks at me, smiles, and says, "well, we have known for a while." She wasn't joking. FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML
Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML
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Top comments
bummerbums 16
You walked into that one.
golden_warrior 23
Who the **** pays to watch ****?
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Comments (53)
kryptonite2070 13
ha. she got u back
threer 30
Because that's why the Japanese have tentacle ****.
tarv 16
this needs a follow up by op
japtap81 16
Well atleast he's not watching **** with her and his gf to critic it.
Ethrockerdude 6
Who pays to watch **** anymore? There are so many tube sites. _>
KayleighS14 8
Wow that would be a good guess for low cash. But a horrible truth to know.
lipun 8
well, I guess that's not an only or genuine point to bake the reason behind ur rising expenses. bdb, y don't u keep an eye upon her so to learn the actuality? moreover pal, she is also a human being.
Plentyblonde 8
You asked for it.
WhiteCrimson 23
Well then, that was a way different outcome to the conversation.
mesahus 5
How do you bring up **** in front of your mom?