By Anonymous - 21/9/2019 02:00 Brutal Today, my girlfriend told me that she prefers to be on top because I appear skinnier than I actually am. FML I agree, your life sucks 1235 You deserved it 242 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By XxrudyxX - 12/10/2018 05:30 - Canada - Fort Saskatchewan Today, my garage got broken into and someone stole my $3000 bike. I bought it a month ago while I recovered from a knee injury. I just got enough strength 2 days ago to ride it. I've only ridden it once. FML I agree, your life sucks 2847 You deserved it 204 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 12/1/2011 05:31 - Canada Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML I agree, your life sucks 36052 You deserved it 6570 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By peoplesuck - 14/5/2009 07:51 - United States Today, I stayed up all night to study for my anatomy final at 9 a.m. I studied outside the testing room in the hall all night. Apparently I feel asleep with my headphones as my friend woke me up after walking out of the test asking how I did. 300 classmates walked by and no one woke me up. FML I agree, your life sucks 67946 You deserved it 15484 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/1/2010 18:09 - United States Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML I agree, your life sucks 7078 You deserved it 41135 144 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ldbella - 27/2/2011 08:42 - United States Today, I decided to do a word search in my daughter's Hello Kitty coloring book. It took me 30 minutes to find 6 words in a kids coloring book for ages 1 and up. FML I agree, your life sucks 13279 You deserved it 36272 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By towelwindow - 5/8/2009 14:53 - United States Today, out of the goodness of my heart, I went to work to help out a co-worker even though my last day was last week. I parked in a garage a block away for 2 hours. I paid $20 to park, didn't get paid, am spending $400 to get my back window replaced, and I have to buy a new iPod. FML I agree, your life sucks 46749 You deserved it 8425 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 9/7/2016 23:31 Today, the guy I broke up with for being too possessive and jealous threatened to leak my nudes if he sees or hears that I've gotten with anyone else. FML I agree, your life sucks 14489 Phew, glad it wasn't me 5230 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 1/6/2013 20:50 - United States Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML I agree, your life sucks 52846 You deserved it 4388 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Zizi - 4/7/2015 13:18 - Norway - Mosj?en Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML I agree, your life sucks 29508 You deserved it 1736 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By awwman - 10/4/2012 02:33 - United States Today, my dad found out that there is a free, 24 hour, 7 days a week religious channel. Now that's all he watches. FML I agree, your life sucks 28234 You deserved it 2930 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By well great. - 17/5/2013 22:28 - United States - Pascagoula Today, my friend told me she'd lost her notebook filled with crucial notes for our finals. She asked if she could borrow mine and copy my notes. She then lost my notebook too. FML I agree, your life sucks 46984 You deserved it 11883 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By steve-o - 14/2/2019 15:46 - United States Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML I agree, your life sucks 35751 You deserved it 4152 219 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 9/6/2009 08:14 - United States Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML I agree, your life sucks 85610 You deserved it 5715 263 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lespoon - 25/2/2010 05:09 - United States Today, my mom drove my family to the desert for a themed family photo. We had to wear big frumpy old western-looking clothes in 115 degree weather. Hot and agitated, I muttered, "This is the ugliest thing I've ever had to wear." My mom, looking hurt, replied, "That's my wedding dress." FML I agree, your life sucks 20126 You deserved it 28950 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LaRae17 - 4/8/2010 14:40 - United States Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML I agree, your life sucks 38168 You deserved it 3959 230 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yourmainman - 28/1/2013 05:03 - Canada Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML I agree, your life sucks 55643 You deserved it 15825 200 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By probablydeadbymidnight - 1/7/2012 22:57 - United States Today, I exchanged pictures with a guy I met online, whose devotion to his family really impressed me. In his picture, he was wearing clown makeup, holding a huge knife to his throat with one hand, and an ICP album in the other. All this with a psychopathic grin on his face. FML I agree, your life sucks 23185 You deserved it 7740 194 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By waiting till marriage, she said - 10/6/2015 15:28 - United States - Pasadena Today, my apparently insane and now ex-girlfriend actually claimed she didn't technically cheat on me, because she set her Facebook relationship to "single" before screwing my brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 35728 You deserved it 2496 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Pr unlucky - 2/10/2010 08:07 - Australia Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML I agree, your life sucks 70370 You deserved it 6635 231 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By contracted - 22/8/2016 05:49 - United States - Concord Today, I received a letter telling me I'm not qualified for a job I've been unofficially doing for the last three years. It's the fourth letter I've gotten since applying. I guess it wouldn't be too bad if I didn't have to train the new person who got the job instead of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 11906 You deserved it 873 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch - 18/12/2012 21:44 - United States - Mesa Today, I noticed my wife put a bumper sticker on our car that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts." I've driven that car to work every day. FML I agree, your life sucks 31268 You deserved it 4178 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By killmenow - 19/2/2009 21:52 - United States Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 64136 You deserved it 3469 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By je_regrette_tout - 9/3/2013 18:50 - France - Livry-gargan Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML I agree, your life sucks 24117 You deserved it 65957 206 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Shawn Bennight - 10/6/2020 08:07 Alexa, play "I Won't Share You" by The Smiths Today, my wife of 23 years said she wanted a divorce, that she didn't love me anymore and is moving out. Why? I told her I didn't want us to date and have sex with other people. FML I agree, your life sucks 1829 You deserved it 184 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blasted - 25/11/2009 13:56 - United States Today, my girlfriend of almost a year, and to whom I intended to propose on Thanksgiving, dumped me because her husband will be returning from Iraq soon. And he wants to have a "talk" with me. I didn't know she was married. FML I agree, your life sucks 44119 You deserved it 3840 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By messed up - 16/9/2011 21:10 - United States Today, I finally told my crush that I like her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is my step-sister. FML I agree, your life sucks 36442 You deserved it 2593 169 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 25/10/2010 00:36 - Australia Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML I agree, your life sucks 31987 You deserved it 6005 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By juice723 - 20/11/2013 11:09 - United States - Marblehead Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML I agree, your life sucks 42278 You deserved it 3170 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/10/2009 17:28 - United States Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/suprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML I agree, your life sucks 12418 You deserved it 44780 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By donttouchmyhair - 19/3/2014 18:14 - Romania - Bucharest Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML I agree, your life sucks 48213 You deserved it 3789 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 10/2/2015 23:32 - United States - Herndon Today, I got a letter in the mail telling me to report for jury duty. The day that I have to show up is the day of my wedding. FML I agree, your life sucks 41158 You deserved it 2786 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sweet2u22 - 27/2/2011 02:30 - United States Today, I told the guy I like to listen to a song that expressed how I felt about him. When he was done, I asked what he thought about it. He said it made him realize that his ex was the love of his life and that he wants to go back to her. FML I agree, your life sucks 37843 You deserved it 7499 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By soldier - 6/5/2009 02:40 - United States Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML I agree, your life sucks 43521 You deserved it 10458 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RJB - 29/7/2011 02:48 - United States Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I got so bored I made a "to do" list for the week. FML I agree, your life sucks 35904 You deserved it 12510 278 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alpine75 - 3/5/2009 16:47 - United States Today, I went to have a sperm analysis done at the fertility clinic. I spent an hour trying to masturbate into a cup but I was too anxious and couldn't finish. There was a knock on the door, a clinician and a lab assistant both were there, wondering if I was ok. I have to go back next week. FML I agree, your life sucks 61782 You deserved it 8496 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Asdf649 - 19/5/2012 04:17 - Canada - Burlington Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML I agree, your life sucks 30359 You deserved it 2621 126 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/5/2016 18:02 - Canada - Hamilton Today, I found out how it feels when someone slips and falls while they have a hypodermic needle in your arm. FML I agree, your life sucks 13228 Phew, glad it wasn't me 2121 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kmf - 10/8/2009 19:06 - United States Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to get hot and heavy in my truck at our favorite park. We start going at it and we were both butt naked when I see a car pull into the lot. Not only is it a cop car, but the first thing the cop asks my girlfriend is "Are you being held against your will?" FML I agree, your life sucks 46628 You deserved it 14096 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/9/2010 05:45 - United States Today, I found out that my best friend's mom doesn't wear pyjamas when I got up to go get a glass of water in the middle of the night, at the same time she did. FML I agree, your life sucks 27960 You deserved it 3382 184 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 17/5/2009 19:49 - United States Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML I agree, your life sucks 16310 You deserved it 104841 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, my long distance boyfriend sent me a Snap of him fucking another girl. When he realized he'd sent it to me, he called me, trying to explain, "it's... I agree, your life sucks 536 You deserved it 23 6 Comments
Today, my boyfriend, who I have been seeing for a year, decided to tell me that he has herpes and has not taken any precautions to stop it from passing... I agree, your life sucks 1136 You deserved it 233 10 Comments
