Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Guess your boyfriend's not as Charmin as you thought
KeyboardWarrior 10
I know right... Especially the 48th one...
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Comments (106)
abbasgirl 3
You wouldn't get that kind of a reaction from toilet paper. I think you should go see your doctor.
isis_morrigan 18
Actually you can get this reaction, when the hospital I worked for changed to an even cheaper tp, my whole department of nurses all had this problem, and yes we checked with one of the doctors. We began bringing our own tp, and problem solved.
snlaurenbb 3
Your boyfriend is telling you that the toilet paper is what made your ****** itchy and swollen. I'm sorry but it sounds like he cheated and is lying to cover it up. I would get that checked if I were you.
mynameissaumya 0
Isn't bad toilet paper is better than no toilet paper?
huntsam13 0
Apparently not in this situation
KatieKupcake4195 9
Isn't bad grammar is better than no grammar?
mosquito19 14
i didn't know cheap toilet paper can give you crabs
immaMonsta 8
I don't think toilet paper would give you that kind of reaction...maybe you should think about getting tested. Unless you're just super duper sensitive down there.
magnusb1 1
Let me guess, and now he refuses to switch brand because of your agony?
magnusb1 1
That's what you get for being a pussy!
goodgood_fml 5
I'm super sensitive down there and I have used paper towels and have never been irritated. I agree with users who are saying to go get it looked at. Especially if you have discharge too. It could be just vaginitis but it's best to be safe than sorry. You could have chlamydia. So go let the obgyn have a look.
isis_morrigan 18
People, it's entirely possible to have this reaction to tp. When the hospital I worked for changed to an even cheaper tp, all of the females experienced this, and yes we checked with one of the doctors, although we were pretty sure all of our husbands and boyfriends weren't cheating, and what a coincidence for 20 of us to simultaneously develop vaginitis. We began bringing our own tp, and problem solved.
CRC_101 31
I appreciate that you've said this twice.
Zoe_Kate 4
Ohhh sweetheart I think your boyfriend gave you a little more than cheap toilet paper! Get yourself down to the clinic asap!