Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
zingline89 18
Guess your boyfriend's not as Charmin as you thought
KeyboardWarrior 10
I know right... Especially the 48th one...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
MargieDrury 1
Wow! I love reading fml's people are just so..... So not modest. But yeah sorry about your luck and your guy choise of sand paper.
jenncatherine 0
Are you sure that it's from the tp?
67fb 0
vagisil ftw
soccerchick022 0
My college roommates did that. 6 rolls for a buck=worst itching ever!
turquoise07 1
Use water and feminine wash :)
starkes 0
Who tells people this type of shit? KEEP IT TO YOUSRLF!!!
kateRAWR 4
I KNOW RIGHT THATS SOOOOOO DISGUSTING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ifyouonlyknew88 1
tp? sounds like a yeast infection to me. stop blaming your bf & what kind of tp he uses on your vaginal infections . lol
ressa_1428 0
Did anyone else think this person was going to say "cheap condom"? Or is that just me cause I'm weird? XD
chrisssdubbs 4
That is extremely disgusting
dillonManning 9
Was it chuck norris tp cus that brand doesnt take shit from nobody!