Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
Today, I found the dog I lost while I was dog sitting. It was with its new adoptive family. FML
Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and asked if I'd seen her cat. I helped her search the hallway, basement, and garden for 30 minutes. We finally found it sitting inside my apartment, where I had apparently been living with it for three days without noticing. FML
Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML
Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML
Today, my dog somehow figured out how to open the sliding glass door while I was taking a nap. I woke up to a text from my neighbor, saying, “Your damn dog is running around at the park annoying a bunch of strangers for food. You might want to come and grab her.” FML
Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML
Today, I got back from a two-week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my roommate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML
Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML
Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML
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Top comments
WhyAmUHere 19
Well, maybe the dog just wanted the cookie in her pocket.
The_9th_Doctor 18
umm wow. hell of a neighbor you've got there. just take your dog back.
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Comments (111)
HowieDoIt 21
That doggone neighbor! Somewhere in the world there's a man with a butterfly net chasing after your loony neighbor.
Pikawhore 21
Did she take the dog out of your house or out of your yard?
FireFang1331 13
Oooh if that was me....I'd smack a hoe....
gc327072 31
Stealing a TV or something is one thing, but stealing a dog? That's almost like stealing a child. Glad you got it back.
MEM0817 18
You made a good point... Until you referred to the dog as an "it"...
HeadlessSparrow 20
I'm glad you got your Bitch back! (Look at OP's username)
LegolasPrincess 10
Im glad you got your dog back, I would knocked her screws back in.
Larry01_fml 19
is your neighbor Asian?
pedinhuh 23
Steal her car, park it on your garage(assuming you have one) and when she asks about it, you say its yours!
Seaneration 5
How is he gonna get a car up there, renting a crane seems a little excessive don't you think?
Saikon1357 25
Even though you got your dog va k you should at least report it to the police.
KareBear7364 5
What the hell? I'd slap a bitch.