Today, we had bingo. Three rounds into it a group behind me started to yell, "BINGO, BINGO!" I looked around and saw no one was coming to verify that they had a bingo, so I turned around and said "Stand up." The girl was a dwarf, and she was standing up. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was playing at a bingo hall, when I got a bingo for $50. I got so excited that I accidentally yelled, "Holy fuck!" They kicked me out. I didn't get the money. FML
Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML
Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML
Today, I went to a bingo club with my gran and won the second game and a butthurt old lady accused me of cheating. I ended up being taken aside by an apologetic member of staff and asked to leave. I'm still trying to figure out how you can even cheat at bingo. FML
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML
Today, I was visiting my grandmother at her retirement community. Bingo is really popular there and she loves it, so I went thinking it would be a fun activity for us. I won the jackpot and my car got keyed by a group of angry old people. FML
Today, I finally won at bingo after playing every Thursday night for months. It was a $750 bingo. I split with 85 other winners. My share was $8. FML
Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML
Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
f_alltheirlives 3
Did she use her big girl voice?
screwtaylor 0
She's not a midget! She's fun sized.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
jdannyl 0
Umpa loompa, doopity do. I've got another puzzle for you!
RPGod 0
YDI for saying Midget.
blankslate 0
LITTLE PERSON.
rustylertz 0
Slightly akward, but not that bad.
Whirling_Kumquat 0
It is LITTLE PERSON. Not "midget." You deserve it for not being politically correct.
dan81892 2
midget
wootness 0
LOLZ that's what's wrong with this nation. Everyone's to busy trying to be politically correct and not offending every person instead of dealing with REAL ISSUES. The correct term is midget. No if, ands, or buts about it.
purplestuff_fml 0
******* idiots going on about political correctness who gives a **** about that honestly there's more important things to ******* worry about then ''short people'' being called midgets which THEY ARE. Anyway, OP, If I was in that room with you, I'd have laughed til I cried
bananapie 0
Haha if I was a midget I'd rather be called that than little person. Little person sounds even more patronising than midget, like your 5 years old or something. But as laughable as it is, vertically challenged seems the least insulting term to me.
XOfiestypixie 0
And you can't forget about the christmas elves, Plexico. =P
nodbor 11
dam her for not standing on a chair
likeOMGwow 0
do you live in a retirement home?