Your boyfriend needs to take your kid's future into account. Not only will they be constantly teased at school for being called Hippopotamus, or Hippo for short, but what employer is going to take a resumé from "Hippopotamus Jones" seriously? They'd look at it, and either consider it some lame attempt at a prank, or a mistake your kid should have corrected, then it'd be thrown in the trash. Maybe meet halfway, and call the kid "Harpo". Everyone loves the Marx Brothers.

I'm trying to be as nice as possible when I say this... nope can't do it! Is he fucking insane?

Elon Musk? Frank Zappa? Hippopotamus will need to be as big and dangerous as a hippopotamus or he's going to get beaten up regularly. --Signed Richard Pencil

hmmmm... maybe don't marry this one...

I have always wanted to name my daughter Allie. Middle name Gator.

he sounds dumb. for the rest of humanity's sake please do not procreate with him

YDI if you willingly choose to procreate with this dude. He gave you all the warning you need that he is, in fact, a whole dumbass. If you move forward with this, you are also, in fact, a whole dumbass.

Maybe you could call them Tamus (Thomas)? In all seriousness though, do not ever name a child Hippopotamus

Is that really someone you want to have kids with at all?