By Anonymous - 15/9/2021 22:00 - United Kingdom

Father of the year

Today, my husband is so emotionally disconnected from fatherhood, he has yet to call our son by his name and instead just refers to him as 'It' or 'That' and occasionally just 'Him'. Sometimes he’ll even ignore him crying and just leave the room because the noise annoys him. FML
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By  Nikki  |  9

It sounds like an extreme form of post natal depression, it’s not common for the father but still possible, he might be able to work through it with help

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By  Charlie Given  |  24

This maybe a good time to go to couples counseling ,your husband possibly could be depressed or maybe had a bad childhood and having children is reminding him. but either way you need to get professional help to help resolve these issues

By  Nikki  |  9

It sounds like an extreme form of post natal depression, it’s not common for the father but still possible, he might be able to work through it with help

By  Chazzster  |  22

Some people just aren’t cut out to be a parent. This should definitely have been honestly and seriously discussed before you became parents. And sometimes one parent or the other identifies with parenting more at different stages - Though complete failure isn’t going to get better.

You have a very serious problem on your hands. For whatever reason the “father” is totally failing to become a father. By default you are virtually a single mother. If he didn’t want children and you had one anyway then you made a big mistake. If it’s not his child then he’s still a shitty father figure and you should have noticed that before marrying him.

I don’t think there is any way to “fix” a father (or mother) who fails to develop a parental attachment to their child. It’s a terrible tragedy for the child because they will soon learn they are not loved or wanted and no child deserves that for any reason. You are going to have to figure out how you are going to deal with the situation. Personally I suspect you would be better off in this case with court mandated child support from the biological father and a divorce. That could give you and your little family a second chance and avoids possible future harm and heartbreak.

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  lizardlover95  |  2

this is a very extreme comment if the post was about the mom feeling disconnected everyone would be saying for her to get help that it will be ok etc. But since it's a man...just leave him. that is so screwed.

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  Dorothy Brown  |  2

That's what I was thinking. Men are allowed to have postpartum depression too. That's what this sounds like. Get him help, instead of feeling sorry for yourself. Doesn't even sound like you TALKED to him, to see what's going on.

By  Hayesa  |  11

sounds like he may have e postnatal depression. most think only women can get it but that's not the case. see what help he can get. you may also want some support because depression is hard for those around the individual as well.
I wish you both the best