Father of the year

By Anonymous - 15/09/2021 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband is so emotionally disconnected from fatherhood, he has yet to call our son by his name and instead just refers to him as 'It' or 'That' and occasionally just 'Him'. Sometimes he’ll even ignore him crying and just leave the room because the noise annoys him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 621
You deserved it 251

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

Nikki 15

It sounds like an extreme form of post natal depression, it’s not common for the father but still possible, he might be able to work through it with help

This maybe a good time to go to couples counseling ,your husband possibly could be depressed or maybe had a bad childhood and having children is reminding him. but either way you need to get professional help to help resolve these issues

Comments

Is it his kid?

This maybe a good time to go to couples counseling ,your husband possibly could be depressed or maybe had a bad childhood and having children is reminding him. but either way you need to get professional help to help resolve these issues

Nikki 15

It sounds like an extreme form of post natal depression, it’s not common for the father but still possible, he might be able to work through it with help

It's definitely common, it's just not spoke about the same as women's post natal depression.

Some people just aren’t cut out to be a parent. This should definitely have been honestly and seriously discussed before you became parents. And sometimes one parent or the other identifies with parenting more at different stages - Though complete failure isn’t going to get better. You have a very serious problem on your hands. For whatever reason the “father” is totally failing to become a father. By default you are virtually a single mother. If he didn’t want children and you had one anyway then you made a big mistake. If it’s not his child then he’s still a shitty father figure and you should have noticed that before marrying him. I don’t think there is any way to “fix” a father (or mother) who fails to develop a parental attachment to their child. It’s a terrible tragedy for the child because they will soon learn they are not loved or wanted and no child deserves that for any reason. You are going to have to figure out how you are going to deal with the situation. Personally I suspect you would be better off in this case with court mandated child support from the biological father and a divorce. That could give you and your little family a second chance and avoids possible future harm and heartbreak.

lizardlover95 4

this is a very extreme comment if the post was about the mom feeling disconnected everyone would be saying for her to get help that it will be ok etc. But since it's a man...just leave him. that is so screwed.

That's what I was thinking. Men are allowed to have postpartum depression too. That's what this sounds like. Get him help, instead of feeling sorry for yourself. Doesn't even sound like you TALKED to him, to see what's going on.

Postpartum depression in men is a physical impossibility. Along with other factors, postpartum depression is due, in large part, to the massive hormonal changes women experience after giving birth. Stop spreading nonsense and detracting from what women go through. And yes, yes you are doing that. They can have depression over a major life event or change, sure, but it is NOT postpartum depression. This is more likely a case of being forced into fatherhood, very much like what happened to me. I was lied to, deceived, and ultimately forced into a situation I never consented to. This is EXTREMELY common. My ex completely ignored my explicit statements of not wanting to be a father, willfully failed to maintain her birth control by her own admission, didn't notify me, and then got upset when I visibly angry about it. Lots of women will get pregnant, or even lie about it, just to "keep" a man. Lots of people couldn't care less about biological imperatives. I have never once felt a need to be a "father" figure at any point. I made every effort to be supportive and have kept up on child support to this day, even set the kid up for college. But I never once felt an inkling, urge, or desire to "act" like a father.

Hayesa 12

sounds like he may have e postnatal depression. most think only women can get it but that's not the case. see what help he can get. you may also want some support because depression is hard for those around the individual as well. I wish you both the best

Did you all talk about having children before doing so?

Why does this not say 'ex-husband?'