Health: Baked

Baked

By Monty - 01/03/2009 08:45 - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 536

You deserved it 15 623

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Same thing different taste

Kitchen nightmare

By cookiemonster - 13/08/2013 16:10 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 466

You deserved it 6 697

By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 15:14 - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 760

You deserved it 6 428

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 685

You deserved it 27 519

My home hates me

By Anonymous - 24/07/2015 02:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 266

You deserved it 4 336

Slippery when wet

By anonymous - 03/01/2017 01:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 734

You deserved it 1 867

By Sam_Licker81 - 19/11/2009 16:41 - United States

Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 818

You deserved it 6 701

By Anonymous - 29/01/2012 05:50 - United States

Today, I was cleaning my room and set my burnt out light bulb on my computer chair without any second thought. Later, I sat on the chair, the light bulb shattered and I got a huge gash on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 680

You deserved it 30 923

By ..… - 13/09/2011 14:48 - United States

Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 258

You deserved it 4 126

Hazardous

By Anonymous - 28/09/2016 13:08 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 285

You deserved it 2 512

By cantcloselegs - 20/10/2013 12:39 - United States

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 854

You deserved it 6 176

areyoukiddingme7 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 17:47

that really suckss. but did you drop the cookies? lol

DDDDana 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 18:44

Daaaang. Cookies shouldn't ever be the cause of pain.

Comments

BeautyAndBrains 0

Monday 2 March 2009 0:24

Ouch! I hope you feel better soon, and that your burns aren't severe.

discoinferno 0

Monday 2 March 2009 5:16

Yikes. I gasped when I read this, haha.

mysecondskin 0

Monday 2 March 2009 7:18

ahhhhhhhh that sucks!!! why would anybody say you deserved it

BJacobs 0

Monday 2 March 2009 13:12

i've never seen an oven that doesn't snap shut when it is at least halfway closed. you have a ghetto oven.

LuvinChronic 0

Monday 2 March 2009 13:27

burnt ass!!! dayum thats ****** up man!!! I'd hate to be da one hu has to tap that ass.

berryfondue 0

Monday 2 March 2009 13:50

Are you alright?! I hope you feel better!

muchlovezoe 0

Monday 2 March 2009 19:22

um, stuff. HAH. major lolz. On a related note, may I extend my heartfelt condolences to the said "um, stuff." speedy recovery, my friend.

vvtumblesbee 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 7:59

i also offer my condolences to your "stuff". but just out of curiosity, why were you not wearing underwear?

EmmyRahh 5

Thursday 16 September 2010 18:39

he had probably just been in the shower and needed to get the cookies out so they wouldn't'my burn... ouch tjo

EmmyRahh 5

Thursday 16 September 2010 18:40

wow stupid touch phone predict text

kayykatastrophii 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 11:12

Oh my gosh! That's horrible! But you sound terribly accident prone. Perhaps you should live in a bubble.

Vonnick 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 18:44

You could have burned the cookies.

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The Top

Today, I met what I thought was a decent guy, via an introduction by my pregnant friend. She's dating his brother. The guy was dropping my friend and me off, but on the way out of the door he slapped her on the butt and smiled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 115

Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 299

You deserved it 3 142

Today, with a single misstep, I managed to send myself and several others tumbling down a stairwell at work. An ambulance ended up having to be called for one lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 602

You deserved it 5 061

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 747

You deserved it 10 298

Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 425

You deserved it 6 167

Today, I was grooming one of my horses, when she stepped on my foot. I yelled and frantically tried to push her away. She turned her head toward me and shifted the rest of her weight onto my foot. I'm in the hospital now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 489

You deserved it 2 712