Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend of two years was cheating on me. How? His other girlfriend crashed her car into mine and had him pick her up. FML
Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML
Today, I got the news that my ex-boyfriend from two years ago died in a car crash. My fiancé found me crying in the living room when he came home from work. When he found out why I was inconsolable, he said, "Make sure you say hi to that abusive turd in hell for me, thanks for everything." He is now staying at a hotel. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, I was involved in a car crash. When I told him, my boyfriend was more interested in what he was going to have for lunch. FML
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
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Top comments
DoctorWhooves 6
Well, be thankful that you're broken up with him then, I guess!
kakarot2 11
Well.... I suppose you are better off alone than with an idiot. But give him props for originality.
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Comments (190)
hommiecogley 8
He is so stupid. Just be glad u don't have to put up with him no more n now u can find someone better.
_lady_rainicorn_ 2
be thankful that you're not dating him anymore...
aerogxt 7
Apparently, what was wrong with him was that he was with you.
HannahLouise96 13
If we ignore the fact that he is clearly an idiot. He couldn't break up with his girlfriend to her face and had to pretend that he was KILLED in a car accident. Sounds like an idiot to me, and an arsehole to boot.
aerogxt 7
True. But I find it difficult to believe that this is the first stupid thing he has done. She obviously never left him sooner so the fact that she stayed with an obvious idiot until he dumped her is her fault. She deserves it
skyeyez9 25
Reminds me of the fml where the cheating bf claimed to actually be his long lost twin brother. Such a ridiculous and douchebag move.
chujel1302 1
He's your boyfriend, what's wrong with you? You picked him!
Discombobulated9 12
You'll be surprised how many people pretend to be someone they're not when they're trying to charm the socks off whom they're attracted to. So, either OP was fooled or (as you put it) is an idiot for dating the idiot.
sausages01 0
you should of said really now then in his reincarnation come back as an idiot german dirtbag!
Nm_fml 10
You deserve a better boyfriend that's for sure!
PsychoticAsylum 26
Is it sad that I thought about DocBastard when I read this?
DjeePee 25
And that's the moment you go to his mother in tears and post 'RIP, I'll miss you :(' posts on his Facebook. Or maybe not, you would look as the crazy ex-girlfriend.
anongrl5846 19
Lol
HannahLouise96 13
Wow. Very interesting, original and insightful comment.
HannahLouise96 13
Oops, meant to post that as a reply to another comment. Hurr-durr!