Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend of two years was cheating on me. How? His other girlfriend crashed her car into mine and had him pick her up. FML
Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML
Today, I got the news that my ex-boyfriend from two years ago died in a car crash. My fiancé found me crying in the living room when he came home from work. When he found out why I was inconsolable, he said, "Make sure you say hi to that abusive turd in hell for me, thanks for everything." He is now staying at a hotel. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
Today, I was involved in a car crash. When I told him, my boyfriend was more interested in what he was going to have for lunch. FML
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
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Top comments
DoctorWhooves 6
Well, be thankful that you're broken up with him then, I guess!
kakarot2 11
Well.... I suppose you are better off alone than with an idiot. But give him props for originality.
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Comments (190)
DoctorWhooves 6
Well, be thankful that you're broken up with him then, I guess!
free2speak 14
Makes me wonder how old this guy really is and why'd she date an immature guy like that... :?
chabooty27 7
Don't worry. Be happy now.
syley 5
Trust me 6 age has a surprisingly small effect on maturity for guys, as seen in very many fmls.
adzz90 16
RIP
ArielTheMermaid 17
1-your picture is freakin awesome :) and I totally agree with you
TwiztedYuri 9
very true we guys like to mess around my neighbor is 50 and still act like me and my younger brother who is 12
rainbowdashy 3
I thumbed you up simply because of your picture.
ajeyness 10
Notice how it's mostly people with my little pony pics commenting on this. It's kind of amazing.
DomDomxoxo 16
51: is your neighbor on welfare?
kayla_ann0o 9
At least he wasn't a dick about it.....
negb 30
Well you never know, maybe the "surgeon" found his phone on him and called you. Jk. Fyl.
fishereric 1
I didn't know people outside of comedies actually tried this.
GaleHawthorne 0
1,50,53, I think we are starting to take over FML...
ZeroIce 12
Dr. Whooves XD
DoctorWhooves 6
Spread the friendship (is magic)!
Boygenius50 8
Unite my brothers and we shall dominate FML and SPEAK ONLY IN THE TRADITIONAL ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE
chokefrantic 9
53: I thumbed up your comment because of YOUR picture!!!
Wdgames 0
TAKE OVER FML! YES! GO FORTH, PONIES!
Wdgames 0
Umm... I mean... If that's okay with you guys... Of course...
aJaguarinRed 9
I thumbed you down because of your picture.
Wdgames 0
I thumbed you down for hating.
ReesieBanana21 12
Da man was just giving da bad news about your boyfriend Ohhhhh....
ReesieBanana21 12
164-You b*tch! Why you hatin'?
the_enigma1019 1
I wonder if friendship can deflect bullets....
Oreohugzpenny 4
If he did not have the balls to just say it You should be over. The girl must help the man to grow a pair. Holy woman O:)
areakiller525 9
I just have to say don't insult dr who he and my little pony are nothing alike, that is if u are saying doctorwhooves as dr who and ponies
kakarot2 11
Well.... I suppose you are better off alone than with an idiot. But give him props for originality.
theneatoburrito 8
But how bad would OP feel if it was a German surgeon and her boyfriend had died? PLOT TWIST!
parchment123 0
78 - WHAT A TWIST! If anybody understands that reference, I probably love you.
twisted_cherub 14
Not that original. I've heard plenty of stories. A guy I knew was told his girlfriend was dead by her parents. They said they understood if he couldn't fly across the country for a funeral. He mourned her. His brother spotted her six months later. On the other hand, what if OP is the kind of girlfriend who doesn't take "no" for an answer and he's tried to break up with her the legitimate way more than once. Just a thought. Really, though, that sucks, OP. Hope you find someone better.
mongooses 2
The awkward moment where you find out that really was a trauma surgeon...
K_kanaka 26
Simple he's just a idiot
KeyboardWarrior 10
An* idiot. English class - 1 You - 0
olpally 33
Keyboardwarrior- 2 #3- 0 Next round!
keenflow 2
3- I think you should think about who the real idiot is mr. Mirror shot
Axipiter 24
Hahahahahaha! Well said!
Boygenius50 8
But mirror shots are sexy?
K_kanaka 26
*head slap I'm an idiot
DanielleinDC 34
And apparently allergic to punctuation, too!
rcgirl2 11
Da Fuq? I'm actually glad that he broke up with you. Hope you find a SMART, charming, an nice guy OP.
Meme1988 18
Stupid Head
perdix 31
Dummkopf! It sounds better in the original German.
therealslim 15
Wouldn't it be 'doofkopf' in German?
banjkazfan 6
No, perdix is correct. The spelling is "dummkopf".
tellithowitis 13
Perdix is ALWAYS right.
DomDomxoxo 16
Both versions exist: doofkopf and dummkopf!
therealslim 15
Well my German is shit. I'm boy even going to try to attempt spelling 'shit' in German
sillycart 9
What if it really was a doctor. And he really got in an accident.
theoreticalnerd 0
That's what I was thinking ...
truthbringer007 6
A doctor wouldn't have called from her "deceased" boyfriend's cell phone
ImaginaryFoe 1
I'd imagine she recognises her ex's voice regardless of his fake accent.
NirvantioNxTFR 1
She is gonna feel like such a bitch when she finds out that this really happened! And Dr. Vogdenwerner is going to be quitr offended.
DaniBear18 2
Idiot.... But, what if it was actually true? How bad would you feel? Obviously it's not but still... The guys a wack job! You deserve so much better!!! :)
SirCharles83 13
How can you say some one deserves better with out knowing them? Maybe she's cheated or lied or betrayed him, and she deserves a guy who dumps her by pretending to be a German doctor. Maybe not, but maybe.
KSG472 3
It's just meant to make her feel better... Not meant to be taken all seriously :p
SirCharles83 13
If it's not serious, then why would it facilitate OP in feeling better? I just hate that people always say "you deserve better" on this site. Karma is a bitch and maybe they are just getting what's coming to them. Plus, I'm pretty sure no one will feel better about their situation just because a stranger on a web site says that "you deserve better"
ManInTheMachine 20
What's wrong with him? He suffered severe brain damage from the car accident, THAT'S what happened! Geez, you think you'd trust a doctor with a foreign accent...
TheEpicMilkMan 13
have you seen the human centipede? lol he was a doctor with a foreign accent and look how that turned out :P
KristenRose 0
At least your not with him anymore
Axipiter 24
At least "you're" isn't spelled "you're" anymore.
Blue_Black_fml 21
you're**
hockeyoceancity 13
He could've been high out of his mind lol.
DomDomxoxo 16
I got high looking at your picture.
hecallsmedarlin 7
^haha that was my same thought!
hockeyoceancity 13
hahahha thank you, i try :p its in one of MGMT's music videos. stare at it for 30seconds directly in te middle. it comes towards you!
lollipop77_fml 6
Wo-ah. Your pic is totally trippy - bloody awesome :)