Today, a customer came in to the Walmart I cashier at, trying to set me up with her daughter. This isn't the first time she's tried. As she so graciously put it, her daughter "has a thing for the wimpy nerdy types". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, in a bustling store, a woman waved at me. I didn’t recognize her but waved back enthusiastically and approached her. She frowned and said, “I was waving at my daughter.” Her daughter was behind me. A store clerk saw the whole thing and said, “Happens a lot to lonely people.” FML
Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML
Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart when I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with, "You know I'm a guy, right?" FML
Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, I tried to get a job at Walmart. My mom was the hiring manager. She turned me down due to lack of work experience. FML
Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML
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Top comments
Ms_ValS 27
Well what are you waiting for OP? If what she's saying is true, this is your chance.
onlychildFTW 34
If she's your type why not? Worst that can happen is you never want to see her again. Although with the mother coming in often that could be awkward.
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Comments (50)
inolongercare 19
Maybe her daughter is hot! Have you asked to see a picture? Don't knock it till you try it
ColdRoxas 18
Hey nerds are amazing people besides you got mom's approval just go first a 1st date and see how it goes ^^
kobomk 5
How is this an FML
mbock 15
well then, you should be laying that D as we speak. maybe the mother will come around too!!!
Vlen_fml 20
hey, Peter Parker tried to turn down a set up like this... with Mary Jane Watson. at least check it out man.
bnbhimp 10
Umm be worried. If the mother is looking at Walmart for possible suitors.... I see a red flag
Elban 20
Least homie has a job!
interesting33 37
I feel sorry for the daughter having a Mum who sounds so pushy, and insulting of her taste in guys
randomcritic 14
Hey maybe you look like Spencer Reid!
MrKilgore 14
just go for it man.
exoticDeath 20
Why has no one considered he has already seen her and doesn't like her? People at Walmart can be savage honestly.