Today, a customer came in to the Walmart I cashier at, trying to set me up with her daughter. This isn't the first time she's tried. As she so graciously put it, her daughter "has a thing for the wimpy nerdy types". FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, in a bustling store, a woman waved at me. I didn’t recognize her but waved back enthusiastically and approached her. She frowned and said, “I was waving at my daughter.” Her daughter was behind me. A store clerk saw the whole thing and said, “Happens a lot to lonely people.” FML
Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML
Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart when I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with, "You know I'm a guy, right?" FML
Today, while I was shopping, I spotted a lady who had the last of an item I wanted in her cart. She went off to the dressing room, so seeing my opportunity, I went and grabbed it from her cart, and put it in mine. I hadn't noticed her bratty-ass daughter next to the cart, who then yelled, “I saw that! Mommy! Some lady's stealing from your cart!” FML
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, I tried to get a job at Walmart. My mom was the hiring manager. She turned me down due to lack of work experience. FML
Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML
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Top comments
Ms_ValS 27
Well what are you waiting for OP? If what she's saying is true, this is your chance.
onlychildFTW 34
If she's your type why not? Worst that can happen is you never want to see her again. Although with the mother coming in often that could be awkward.
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Comments (50)
Dramori 29
Is the daughter hawt? :p
FalloutScrolls 25
Go for it! The wording may have been rough around the edges, but you've already got the mother's approval.
pooldude 24
She has a thing for "wimpy, nerdy guys", hmmm... introduce her to me!
alioni 12
Ignore her moms burn and try your luck with her OP.
Chiharo 15
Have to wonder what kind of person the daughter is. The mom seems to been trying really hard to hook you up with her though
teapotrevolt 27
I'll buy anything to be next in line for your heart. :D
laden_swallow09 35
The fact that you're a female doesn't make it sound any less like a restraining order waiting to happen.
MRSwick2525 23
That's a bit creepy #19 Joking or not
teapotrevolt 27
That's what I intended. Lol that mom is pretty creepy herself, thought I was adding on. I am just kidding and you don't have to scold me. ;)
PsychicBulwark 4
NICE. People just don't appreciate quality pick up lines haha
Soverain 15
The thought of a woman like that being my mother-in-law makes me cringe.
vikky538 29
There is nothing wrong in to give it a try
dc2fresh 15
Nigga you better take all the chances you can get, its not to often girls like a wimpy nerdy dude
Pinto_2015 9
Next time she comes in make a pass at mom. Maybe she will leave you alone...