Intimacy: Back to reality - FML

Back to reality

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Saint Neots

Spicy

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 952

You deserved it 28 265

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By IceMage - 18/01/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 634

You deserved it 39 387

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 035

You deserved it 45 831

Quick, hide!

By Mattyboy - 24/08/2009 09:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 930

You deserved it 18 640

Meet the parents

By aj513 - 29/11/2015 01:20 - United States - New Bedford

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I got caught doing it in her parents' bed by her mom. Instead of making me leave, they forced me to stay for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 129

You deserved it 30 517

By mal - 08/05/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Spicy

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 162

You deserved it 6 257

By sometingwong - 01/12/2011 20:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 368

You deserved it 3 448

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 13:04 - Malta

Spicy

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 632

You deserved it 34 716

By Ohfman117 - 11/08/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 952

You deserved it 71 766

Teenage PDA warning

By Bali_Boil - 16/01/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 681

You deserved it 6 818

By Burntintomyretinas - 19/09/2012 04:40 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 829

You deserved it 3 605

Next

Top comments

raycj 1

Monday 24 December 2012 22:45

I bet he'll make sure you won't be walking after that comment!

EverestMelting 23

Monday 24 December 2012 22:44

You in trouble! Run forest!

Comments

SweetLuna 10

Wednesday 26 December 2012 23:53

Too funny...

sublime_foe 1

Sunday 30 December 2012 3:10

I can't begin to tell you how fast and far I would've ran out of there

yannabanah 9

Thursday 24 January 2013 23:51

And you made it home?

swimmerman5 5

Thursday 28 February 2013 7:41

idiot lol

Meisliz 8

Wednesday 31 July 2013 6:51

hope you were wearing clothes

RougeKiller 9

Thursday 26 September 2013 3:33

I think there's more to this story, and i bet its hilarious!

Dchag117 10

Saturday 30 November 2013 2:20

Holy shit id be gone

fantasyworld 37

Sunday 14 December 2014 4:24

Run.

bossness125 10

Friday 29 July 2016 20:30

You done ****** up!

ryoung1776 8

Monday 15 August 2016 7:02

Imagine how surprised he was. Or on second thought, maybe not.

3
4
5
6
7

Keywords

Health Awkward Motherhood Money Transportation Lonely Dentist Sadness Abuse Work Relatable Nepotism Ironic Birthday Miscellaneous Parents AITA Food Virginity Love Sex Intimacy OCD Mental health Cleaning Housework Cute Creepy Argument Kids

The Top

Today, I was at the grocery store when I bumped into my ex. Trying to be polite, I asked how she was doing, only for her to reply, "Great, thanks! I'm actually getting married next month." Meanwhile, I was standing there in a Garfield t-shirt clutching a carton of Ben & Jerry's and a bottle of cheap wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 185

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my knob was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 235

You deserved it 6 703

The Top

Today, I went back to my high school for an event with some of my friends, both of which are in relationships. Whilst there we saw our favorite teacher, who hugged us and said, "I heard you have a boyfriend! And so do you!" And then she turned to me and said, "And... And you're doing great things!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 940

You deserved it 1 843

Today, the metropolitan police told women to "flag a bus" if we don't feel safe with a lone male officer. Because that'll work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 100

Today, I got mugged. For my Big Mac. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 187

You deserved it 1 009

Today, the girl I really thought I had feelings for told me she kissed me on the cheek because I’m a sweet person, but she doesn’t want to be my partner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 177

Today, at 2:30 a.m. I got locked out of my room. I knocked upstairs to get my landlady to give me the spare key. Instead, I woke up the dogs next door who wanted to kill me, so I hid for 5 hours in the enclosed trampoline with some outdoor blankets. They were covered in animal piss. It rained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 686

Today, the friend I recommended for a job at my workplace is getting fired for being one of the worst people they have ever hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 337

You deserved it 851