Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML
Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
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Top comments
prvag23 0
That's almost sweet that his mom made breakfast...in a really, really weird and completely awkward way.
drunkgirlscout2 0
Hey, you did get FREE PANCAKES. Unless the pancakes were green and filled with laxatives, I would be happy
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Comments (302)
westaa12 0
hahahaha this is amazing!!! i wish i could wake up next to ppl and get free breakfast!!
bonare0607 0
Did she really make the pancakes for you too? If the mom didn't know the OP was in her house and she made the pancakes for her son, well, then that's definitely an FML.
Silhouette_fml 0
Sounds like a keeper to me.
Lop0 11
Hopefully the sex was as good as the pancakes... ?
CaptainPat 0
more of a win if you ask me.
justjayit 0
LOL the pancakes are the icing on the cake. Way to be a loser though, getting drunk and ending up like that/
mysecondskin 0
i just hope you guys used protection, b/c pregnancy or std would make this an FML but if you did.................. then hurray!!! free food and lovins
nomo_fml 0
Hey, FREE PANCAKES. Nothing wrong with that.
wrestler_fml 0
Babe... if it was a one-night stand, why the hell does it matter if he doesn't have a fancy job? I mean, I'm a conservative who gets good grades and will make good money when im older... and coming from "ME".... I STILL don't understand why it matters what job he had, if you A) f*cked him when you were drunk, B) had a 1night stand, and C) weren't going to see him again... oh yeah and D) you even got some free pancakes from a nice lady! This isn't really an FML, this is a lady having too much time on her hands and wanting something to write on fmylife.com. Now if you got crabs or AIDS, then write back on here.. k?
Amkii 0
OK, I lol'd. I love the fact she was OK with it, and even made you pancakes. She's awesome!!