Relationships, Poopoo peepee, Awkward and Animals: Awkwaaaaaaard

Awkwaaaaaaard

By Zoe Avila - 09/08/2011 22:55 - United States

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 888

You deserved it 9 080

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Username - 13/02/2011 02:17 - United States

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 708

You deserved it 3 717

By anonymous - 02/02/2010 17:32 - France

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 538

You deserved it 4 266

Spooked

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 000

You deserved it 3 454

By nightfall8705 - 17/08/2017 19:30 - United States - Walhalla

Today, I had to make my boss believe that I was late to work because my sick dog shit all over my bedsheets and I had to clean up the mess before work. The truth is, I don't have a dog, and I wrongly trusted a long fart this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 360

You deserved it 1 150

Disproportionate response

By pick up after your dog you lazy piece of shit! - 09/06/2023 00:00

Today, having such terrible social anxiety and being terrified of confrontation, I confided in my apartment's maintenance man about my neighbor not picking up her dog’s poop. He assured me he’d handle it. He reported her to the leasing office, and now she and her kids are getting evicted. I feel bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 269

By Anonymous - 09/11/2015 14:58 - United States - Redlands

Today, my mother informed me that she sold my dog to pay off some bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 778

You deserved it 1 838

Doggy dog world

By this means war! - 19/02/2022 14:00

Today, I reported my neighbor to the leasing office for never picking up her dog’s turds. They told me they couldn't do anything without proof, so I snapped a picture and sent it in. Ever since then, I’ve been getting dog turds thrown on my porch. Coincidence? I think not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 217

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 388

You deserved it 50 967

By Why Me - 20/10/2014 03:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 041

You deserved it 2 789

By sammyxoxo - 18/12/2011 08:32 - Canada

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 771

You deserved it 2 771

Ben360 6

Wednesday 10 August 2011 8:53

Stop hogging the bathroom!

dreamering 16

Wednesday 10 August 2011 8:56

You got to teach your husband what bathroom is there for.

Comments

jazzyfizzle012 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 20:26

Reese eye tats nasy

Angellic_09 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 20:03

***** happens....but in d bathroom

Clubkicker_fml 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 23:47

And whata husband!

Hoarebag 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 2:51

Has your husband never heard of a toilet? Or a pot plant or something? Hell even the bin would be better! FYL

xHarleyQuinnx 0

Saturday 19 November 2011 4:55

What. The. F*** What. The. F*** What. The. ****

Naitsi 19

Monday 19 December 2011 1:21

Even if you told it was your husband you still had to pay, but you could say you diden't have a dog.

ebwaef 0

Wednesday 15 February 2012 5:07

Oh wow

shinshoku13 19

Friday 9 March 2012 14:12

Honestly why do people keep marrying these ******* idiots? Jeez women of the world, lets get some dignity!

atishe24 9

Wednesday 11 April 2012 7:50

I hope, for your sake, the he was drunk shitless at the time. Pun intended.

marissarenee0225 0

Monday 25 June 2012 23:37

Who puts groceries on their fireescape..?

Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Awkward Friends Miscellaneous Healthy Lifestyle Health Ironic Food Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Parents Public freakouts Education Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, the bank called to ask when were we going to make the mortgage payments for our family home. We were several months late. I had been transferring my mother the cash to make the mortgage payments after she lost her money gambling. She absolutely promised she would stop several months ago. I guess she lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 1 622

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FMLMeghan's website : http://www.kawaiinot.com/ & http://www.murphypop.com/ If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. Bu...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

The Top

Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 954

You deserved it 4 215

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 434

You deserved it 3 147

Today, I finally bought my first car after saving around £5000 and finding an absolute bargain that ticked all the boxes! Today was also the day of my first ever car accident, resulting in the car being written off by an uninsured driver. I had it less than 9 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 862

You deserved it 1 084

Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 416

You deserved it 4 326

Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 290

You deserved it 52 238

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 109

You deserved it 3 829