Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, "You can see his whole freaking package!" I'd whispered to the wrong side. FML
Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML
Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to, "Stop sticking your butt out!" My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML
Today, I finished a ballet class with a group of seven-and-unders. Afterwards, a new student's mother came up to me and thanked me, saying she was glad that her daughter had a "role model with a, ahem, fuller figure" and "not to worry about my weight." I have never thought I was fat before. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
Today, we had my school musical. The girls have to wear long skirts. I had a thong on, and while we were dancing the guy behind me stepped on my skirt. It fell to my ankles... the whole audience saw my ass. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML
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Top comments
swaneh 0
Your mom rocks. ;)
alexFYL 11
OMG Was this at the Seacrest (sp?) Theatre? Holy crap someone else lives in this piece of shit town AND has the internet (hicks here don't know how to use the internet...)
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Comments (54)
originalusername_fml 0
>mother >balls WAAAAT .D.
anjyu22 0
Don't worry kiddo, everyone else was thinking it.
Hugorgy 0
Dat ass. Was it as good for you as it was for your mom?
omghehehe 0
hahahaha :D
xllamax 0
This is why people shouldn't wear tights...or have well defined but cheeks.
neon_shoes 0
well, were they?
Stephie_fml 0
Haha thats awesome, your Mom is cool :D
blastvortex 3
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/humor See 3c.
thebrightside 0
I had to bite my tounge and sit on my hands not to whisper that to my cousin, who my mom brought along! BUT THEY WHERE SOOOOOO TIGHT! Both the butt and the pants XD!
Sweets_wtc 0
she's awesome