Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML
Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML
Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Today, I decided to go to a club with my friends. I was flattered when an attractive guy started dancing with me. Later, I went to grab my money to pay for my dinner and realized while dancing, the very sneaky man pulled my forty dollars out of my pocket. FML
Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a co-worker who I really liked. One thing led to another and we ended up going to her house and hooked up. Once we'd finished, I noticed another co-workers ID on the floor by her bed. I asked her about it and she said he must have dropped it there last night. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Locket_fml 0
Look on the bright side, $20 up.
Crunchy_fml 0
at least you got some money?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (262)
doneskie 0
20 dollars for the shot of penicilin
darksider_55 0
YDI, Most definitely. Taking home someone you don;t know and sleeping with them is *****-like behavior. and for those who are saying those telling her she deserves it can;t get laid, grow up and don;t be an idiot.
ifuckenhateyou 0
omg thats hilarious! and it says my name is nick which isnt true but any who... thats gross and trashy.. and might i even say hoe-ish and being a complete ignorant ****! but i'd do the same ahaha u wanna hump? haha
Mr_Resetti 0
What if he didn't think you were a prostitute? He'd do the exact same thing, except he wouldn't leave you a red cent.
tommiegirlxxx 0
hey, at least you made a little money haha now u got a future job set out for you in the future... just in case
DeadSexy86 0
thats what you get for dressing like a hussie and taking guys home. lol!!!!
that_guy_you_are 0
LOL 184. Hussie. I hear you're also a harlot and a strumpet. You probably show your ankles in public too, you dirty girl ;) You got sex and money, WTF are you complaining about? Isn't that what we all want? Don't buy into this garbage about casual sex being "wrong", it's a beautiful thing. It is the primal drive, the reason we all live. To ****. Embrace it.
that_guy_you_are 0
If I had to confidence to be a prostitute, I probably would. No lie.
silly_kate 0
arsehole! should've given you $100! YDI, maybe you've learnt not to screw randoms
emadd123 0
At least you got 20 bucks!