Today, my best friend, who I've had serious feelings for for over a year, decided to tell everyone that he hasn't gotten laid in almost two years. When I told him that he was lying, he responded with, "No, I'm not. Who could I possibly have slept with?" We hooked up six months ago. Three times. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML
Today, I walked into a room where my naked "best friend" had set up a romantic scene and attempted to kiss me. It turns out he believed we were in a relationship for the last year and told our entire school. I am 100% straight. This explains why I haven't been able to get laid in months. FML
Today, I found out the guy I consider my best friend has had a girlfriend for the past year, and they have been living together for the past 7 months. He and I have been having unprotected sex for the past 4 and a half years, and have even talked about having kids together. I only found out because I'll be their new roommate. FML
Today, I was talking to my best friend's brother after we drunkenly hooked up last night. I've had a crush on him for over a year. He ended up interrupting himself and said, "Please don't tell anyone about this. I don't want anyone to think we're dating or anything." FML
Today, my best friend of 10 years told me she had slept with a man who had a girlfriend. I told her that it wasn't that bad. She then informed me that it was my boyfriend. FML
Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of two years. I got a call from my best friend telling me he had slept with her before we went out drinking the night before. FML
Today, my husband told me that his brother has told him that we slept together years ago. We didn't, it's a lie, and I'm so shocked that at first that I was convinced that this must be some sort of joke that I'm waiting to hear the punch line for. It turns out my husband was completely serious and needless to say we argued about it. FML
Today, my gay best friend slept over, as he has many times during the past three years of our friendship. This time, however, he confessed to me that he's only pretended to be gay to get closer to me because he's in love with me. I've allowed my stalker to sleep in my house and in my bed for three years. FML
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Top comments
lrb081 0
maybe there's the chance that he was protecting your privacy (you didn't specify if you said what you said in public)
littlegolferboy 4
I agree with #1, when you say "decided to tell everyone" it makes it sound like you were in a big group of people. So the logical conclusion is that he didn't want to admit to sleeping with you. Because he's ashamed or he actually does like you, we'll never know. By the way, why would you only "hook up" with him if you have serious feelings for him? He probably just sees you as a friend with benefits now.
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Comments (28)
lrb081 0
maybe there's the chance that he was protecting your privacy (you didn't specify if you said what you said in public)
MoodyBlue320 11
Or he was just a douchebag... Been there. =/
plexico 4
He's right. You don't really count. Getting laid means having sex with a real girl. Relieving yourself in a cum dumpster doesn't count. You're just his holler-back girl.
littlegolferboy 4
I agree with #1, when you say "decided to tell everyone" it makes it sound like you were in a big group of people. So the logical conclusion is that he didn't want to admit to sleeping with you. Because he's ashamed or he actually does like you, we'll never know. By the way, why would you only "hook up" with him if you have serious feelings for him? He probably just sees you as a friend with benefits now.
Aska_fml 0
You should take a better care of you boyfriend.
untoldfame 3
FAIL! haha. Well, maybe next time you sleep with someone you like you should make it memorable. Pull hair, Slap, Scream at the top of your lungs, whatever you can think of that wont let him forget you.
LatinoHeat 0
YDI for yelling your friend to wear a Clay Aiken mask while making out with him.
movies12 0
Ur friend is a douche.
Sigmund_fml 0
alcohol maybe?
Izabushel 65
I was wondering that.
ariean 0
lol. well you totally deserve it for sleeping with him (without commitment) when he's your best friend and you have serious feelings for him. you're just a booty call to him.... and apparently not a memorable one. i doubt that he was protecting your feelings. i think he just forgot - or that it didnt count. maybe dont be so easy - and dont delude urself. sorry to sound harsh but hey, YDI.
Warez_fml 12
You're retarded.
pmcizhere 0
Either you need some practice, or yeah he doesn't want to mention that in front of a group of people.