Intimacy, Sex, Relatable and Awkward: Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks - FML

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

By Anonymous - 24/12/2021 05:01

Spicy

Today, I had to have the awkward conversation with my wife of 20-plus years that the reason I’ve lost interest in sex is because our sex life has been mind numbingly boring for at least 15 of those years, always the same positions, never wanting to try anything new, just so boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 1 426

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Same thing different taste

Stuck in a rut

By Anonymous - 16/04/2020 20:00

Spicy

Today, I realised my wife has been slowly phasing out most elements of our previously active and inventive sex life. These days, it's missionary once a month or she tells me to whack one off by myself in the bathroom. When did we get so boring? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 336

By beaverless - 02/05/2011 20:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 558

You deserved it 17 599

Permission granted and rejected

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 120

By tigger2013 - 03/08/2013 04:01 - Australia - Cheltenham

Spicy

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 875

You deserved it 5 678

Like glue

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 10:01

Spicy

Today, it's been almost 3 years since my wife has wanted sex, and I get turned down every time I ask. Even when I insist on a romantic date night, we just sit with no idea what to say to each other. How did we drift so far apart? The only thing keeping us together is the mortgage and the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 004

You deserved it 241

Ace of Spades

By Simon Edhouse - 13/09/2021 09:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Spicy

Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 242

Hang ups

By at least put on sexy underwear - 01/09/2023 20:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 124

Love Story

By Anonymous - 16/12/2021 19:59

Spicy

Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 1 821

Take care

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02

Spicy

Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 126

Perfect

By Julian - 05/05/2021 02:01

Spicy

Today, according to my wife, our life together is perfect. The only problem is that I no longer turn her on, haven’t for a while, so she wants my permission to have meaningless one-night stands with strangers on Tinder while carrying on with our perfect, sexless married life together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 199

Next

Top comments

randybryant799 20

Friday 24 December 2021 6:29

Why would you wait 15 years to say something??

Jonkbaby 22

Friday 24 December 2021 11:29

It takes two to tango my friend

Comments

randybryant799 20

Friday 24 December 2021 6:29

Why would you wait 15 years to say something??

1known 30

Friday 24 December 2021 17:46

If she doesn’t want new things, one can say he said something before.

Jonkbaby 22

Friday 24 December 2021 11:29

It takes two to tango my friend

1known 30

Friday 24 December 2021 17:45

Well it seems he proposed new things, but it wasn’t accepted.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 24 December 2021 15:48

No, just stick with the boring routine forever. If you have new ideas, your wife will think you learned them from cheating or watching ****.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I caught my husband of 13 years looking at other women in Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 418

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 192

The Top

Today, my siblings and I were going through our old home movies after our mom recently passed away. We accidentally found a VHS sextape of our mom and dad in their 20's. We are now collectively psychologically scarred, and can never unsee what we have seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 619

You deserved it 366

Today, I picked out a massive two-inch long ingrown hair on my chin. I called my girlfriend in to take a look. She saw it, shrieked, then fainted, cracking her head on the toilet as she fell. Hello, hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 368

Today, I walked in on my fiancé while he was masturbating to the Spice Girls movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 377

You deserved it 809

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 024

You deserved it 11 607

Today, I was talking to my dad and told him that I want to be a hotel maid, hoping that he would tell me "You can do better, you're smart, etc." Instead he said, "I'm glad you finally have a goal that you can actually achieve." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 189

You deserved it 33 636

Today, I was using the same metal spoon to stir boiling noodles and the pasta sauce I was heating up. I decided to taste the sauce and see if it was getting warm, forgetting that the spoon was sitting in boiling water three seconds earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 1 116