Love and Alcohol: Alcoholics of the world, get help - FML

Alcoholics of the world, get help

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 02:01

Spicy

Today, I know my life is awesome when my partner and I have to plan watching movies and having sex around his drinking schedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 249

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Same thing different taste

By Stinky. - 09/04/2012 03:29 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend was complaining about how we never see the movies he wants to see. So I took him to the movies, and he picked which one. Then he fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 706

You deserved it 2 745

Bae goals

By ninithel - 02/09/2021 16:01 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I learned that when my partner says, "Let's cuddle up, watch something and spend the night together," he means ,"I'm gonna wank and fall asleep at 8.30 with my phone playing videos." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 188

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 514

You deserved it 6 367

SEXY!

By Anonymous - 20/03/2014 02:43 - United States - Canyon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 239

You deserved it 6 991

Turn it off

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 06:00

Spicy

Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 159

You deserved it 171

Exhausted

By snoozes - 16/11/2021 11:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband and I have officially become that couple that has to schedule sex. Between his working, my going back to school, raising kids, doing housework and homework, we just haven’t had time. Last night we tried to be spontaneous and get it on. We both fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 252

Don't yuck his yum

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I can’t get over that my husband will watch children’s movies all by himself, even though we don’t have kids. Seriously, I brought a friend over today and when we walked in he was drinking beer, watching a cartoon movie about a ladybird-themed superhero girl. It was so embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 1 101

Our little bundles of joy

By Anonymous - 25/04/2021 23:00

Spicy

Today, my partner and I were both horny at the same time. I entertained our 3 kids while he jerked off, then he entertained them while I went and masturbated. We live together and this is the first time we’ve been horny at the same time since Christmas, because we’re both so exhausted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 654

You deserved it 427

Snap out of it

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 22:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my significant other cares more about her drink and the TV than her kids and pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 103

By anon - 20/08/2012 05:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 691

You deserved it 2 667

Next

Top comments

Charlie Given 26

Thursday 28 January 2021 2:06

sounds like you already know it's time to leave

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 28 January 2021 5:39

Get him some help. If he refuses, leave.

Comments

Charlie Given 26

Thursday 28 January 2021 2:06

sounds like you already know it's time to leave

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 28 January 2021 5:39

Get him some help. If he refuses, leave.

juggalo2 20

Thursday 28 January 2021 10:07

As long as he is sticking to a schedule that's not increasing or precluding the activities he wants to do, then it's not necessarily a problem. Is it an unhealthy amount?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 139

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, my boyfriend just told me that his mom told him to break up with me, and that she would pay him to do it. His mom is a bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 94

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 050

You deserved it 7 456

Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 445

You deserved it 41 306

Today, my grandfather died. The last thing he said to me was "You smell awful." I work in a fish store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 230

You deserved it 5 264

Today, the guy I was hooking up with said he wasn’t “looking for anything serious.” That’s not what he told me when I agreed to the hookups with a promise of becoming something more. When I mentioned this to him, he said, “Well, that was before I knew what you looked like naked.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 549

Today, the only girl who likes me is a girl who is overweight and uses body acceptance as a reason to get mad at me for turning her down. Call me shallow but as someone who works out frequently, I don't want someone who douses herself with tattoos, thinking guys will fetishize her, instead of self-care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 555