Love, Lonely and Wanker: A tale as old as time

A tale as old as time

By GirlRepelant - 25/10/2021 20:00

Today, I’ve been single and lonely for so long, I looked up if it’s possible to marry your hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 505

Love Lonely Wanker

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Loveless" by MBV

By arimylove1 - 24/01/2023 09:30

Today, I've never been so lonely nor felt so romantically neglected as when I got married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 141

By Penkkis - 13/09/2011 06:11 - Finland

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 585

You deserved it 9 066

By Anonymous - 08/07/2019 18:01 - United States

Today, I'm so single, I signed up for a free consultation on an LGBT arranged marriage site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 326

You deserved it 411

Actually…

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 05:02

Today, I’ve been single for 6 and a half years. It was fun for a while, but now it’s just sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 148

Poor old Kermit

By FrogMyLife - 30/07/2021 14:59 - United Kingdom - Rickmansworth

Today, I've been single for so long, I very nearly had a wet dream about an anthropomorphic frog. A FROG. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 180

Poor choices were made

By Anonymous - 27/10/2022 22:00

Today, I'm so lonely that I actually convinced myself it was by choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 173

Daydreamer

By petev8 - 06/03/2023 03:00

Today, I found myself watching Masterchef UK and was excited because there was an attractive female contestant. I then went on to imagine us getting married and being together forever. Man I am lonely, but more importantly need to get out more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 361

By 3yrneveragainn - 31/12/2010 00:45

Today, I figured out why the man I've been seeing for 3 years hasn't asked for my hand in marriage. His current wife called me and told me all about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 062

You deserved it 4 112

Late bloomer

By Anonymous - 02/09/2020 17:02

Today, I’m at the age where I should be married or in a committed relationship and having kids. Instead, I’m STILL single. I haven’t had a first date or a first kiss. If any of that changes, luck and time aren’t going to be on my side because biologically I won’t be able to have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 335

By Forever alone Guy - 19/02/2013 23:07 - Australia - Narre Warren

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 124

You deserved it 3 819

cuz803 44

Monday 25 October 2021 20:08

Get in physical and mental shape, be at your best and put yourself out there

Dr_Alex 10

Monday 25 October 2021 21:30

Well... You are pretty much already in a "till death do us part" relationship with it... (unless you are reckless around a table saw)

Comments

cuz803 44

Monday 25 October 2021 20:08

Get in physical and mental shape, be at your best and put yourself out there

Dr_Alex 10

Monday 25 October 2021 21:30

Well... You are pretty much already in a "till death do us part" relationship with it... (unless you are reckless around a table saw)

RichardPencil 30

Monday 25 October 2021 21:59

If you liked it, you shoulda put a ring on it.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 25 October 2021 22:00

That'd be one messy divorce!

Brightside86 29

Tuesday 26 October 2021 11:25

Probably solvable, if you can increase your attractiveness rating it's broken how powerful that stat is in the dating world.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my dad continues to make jokes about the rude things he does to avoid dealing with people who try to point out that he's seriously a massive douchebag, and is overall just unpleasant to be around. I have no idea why my mom married this man and had three children with him, let alone why they're still together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 109

Today, after crying after remembering how horribly wrong it went, 10 years ago, with the only person I was ever able to trust enough to let them get close to me, and how no amount of therapy seems to help me, I read an FML about how nobody wants to date a 30 year-old who has never dated. I'm 29 and might as well give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 220

The Top

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 347

You deserved it 9 027

Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I was learning how to start having lucid dreams. She was convinced the only reason I could possibly want to have them was so I could cheat on her in my own dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 355

You deserved it 1 329

Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 389

You deserved it 5 444

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 884

You deserved it 1 368

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant downtown with my brother in-law when I told him I couldn't eat any more. He then told me, "You better, or you're walking home." He wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 425

You deserved it 3 586

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 095

You deserved it 6 139