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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Weddings

    Best day of my life

    By Cherub - 03/05/2009 22:16 - United Kingdom

    Today, it's my wedding day. It was meant to be perfect. The bouquet, along with a high pollen count, set my hay fever off. I walked down the aisle in front of 200 people with streaming eyes and a runny nose; I then had a sneezing fit during my vows and blew a large snot bubble. Real attractive. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 69 123
    You deserved it 7 835
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    Nice to see you

    By JeezyCherieze - 11/04/2009 01:10 - United States

    Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was, and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 81 466
    You deserved it 4 074
    Share  

    First date from hell

    By lizzardbreath - 31/03/2009 10:44 - United States

    Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire, so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brother's wedding, and introduced me as "The One" to his entire family. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 115 950
    You deserved it 7 960
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    Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 35 225
    You deserved it 7 619
    Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 53 475
    You deserved it 4 614
    Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 43 005
    You deserved it 8 908
    Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 47 724
    You deserved it 10 483
    Today, I decided to get in the cowgirl position since it's my fiancé's favorite. I got a little carried away during the "ride" and suddenly heard his dick crack. I fractured his penis. He's never going to have sex with me again. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 4 598
    You deserved it 967
    Today, after telling my boyfriend of 8 years on Monday that I'm unhappy and don’t want to be in a relationship anymore, he said to me just now, "So, I’m thinking of proposing to you in December." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 095
    You deserved it 223
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