Today, I had to explain to my husband why a Facebook comment that says, “Such a tight body, I bet you can ride some dick real good!” towards a female friend of his is inappropriate. He insists it’s a compliment and accused me of being a “misogynist” and not supporting “female body positivity.” FML
Today, I tried to do a TikTok dance and ended up knocking over a lamp and breaking it. It wasn't even my lamp. I now think I'm probably too old for current social media trendiness. FML
Today, I saw that the guy I've been seeing "liked" a post that said, "Single moms are for recreational purposes only." I'm a single mom and we just smashed, all this after telling me that I was his "favorite person." FML
Today, most of my day was spent repeatedly checking to see how well my Reddit posts have been performing as of late. I think I need to find a hobby. FML
Today, to be kind, I gave away my tickets for an electronic music event I could no longer attend to a Facebook stranger. Later, they told me they were refused at the door. Turns out the pdf I'd received from the ticketing system contained some placeholder values and invalid QR data. And this happened on April 1st. FML
Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML
Today, someone handed me a drink at a wedding, so I awkwardly took a sip and commented on the taste. It turns out they were just trying to “Cheers!” me. FML
Today, I sent my husband a bra and panties pic. He simply “Liked” it on iMessage. Yet he always comments, “Beautiful, hot, gorgeous, sexy, etc.” on bikini models he follows on Instagram’s photos, along with lovey dovey emojis. FML
Today, thanks to my asshole coworker and his obsession of posting pictures and tagging me in them on Facebook after I repeatedly told him not to, my wife found out about a party we had with colleagues only. I’m seen in several photos kissing my work bestie, who I hoped I’d keep under wraps until now. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. I go on Instagram to find that the girl I rejected for her just announced her engagement. This girl literally moved mountains for me for years and my selfish ass didn’t wanna go out with her, all because my girlfriend was hotter. I’m a dumbass. FML
Today, I spent all day watching sad cat adoption/rescue videos on Instagram and now I'm bummed out thinking about how mine are going to die within my lifetime. FML
Today, I woke up to find my girlfriend not sleeping next to me. I go to my car and found a plethora of printed screenshots of me commenting things like, “So hot babe”, “Beautiful! I’d tap that” and other compliments on my female friends’ pictures on Facebook. My girlfriend’s not picking up her phone. FML
Today, my first kiss was caught by my mom's doorbell camera which links to her phone. She uploaded the video to Facebook, along with a soppy comment about her baby girl becoming all grown up. Most of my school has seen and commented on it already. FML
Today, it's only when my mom knocked on the door and asked, "Are you alright in there?" that I realised that I had been scrolling through the same Instagram feed whilst sat on the toilet for an hour. My legs had gone numb and I'm pretty sure the toilet seat is forever engraved in my arse cheeks. FML
Today, I made a Discord account for the first time and got banned, even though I hadn't even logged in. Like, how is that possible? FML
Today, I heard that my stepmom’s mother passed away… via a public Facebook post made by my dad. FML
Today, I stupidly liked a post on my ex's social media account from three years ago. They then texted me immediately to ask why I was stalking them. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend of 3 years has a 'Close Friends' restriction on his Instagram stories. I’m not included in that restriction. Upon asking about it during dinner, he knocked stuff off the table, told me to “stop worrying about petty shit so much,” and stormed out. FML
Today, I posted on Facebook that I got the Princess Peach Happy Meal toy and I was super ecstatic. A friend of mine commented, “This shit is why you’re 32 and still single as fuck. Get a boyfriend and go start a family.” Her comment got 38 likes. I threw my laptop across the room and burst into tears. FML
Today, I watched my mother's heart break. She found out, my siblings (20F and 18M), who've ignored her for years, have been adopted by our stepmother. She received said news the same way we found out my younger brother enlisted, and from the only place we get pics of him and my sister: her abusive ex-husband's Facebook page. FML
Today, some person I don't even know called me a scammer on my Facebook, and my mutual friends, who know my actual "GPS coordinates" blocked me before bothering to hear my side. FML
Today, I realized my habit of asking people for money came to an all time high when I asked a girl to Cash App me $5 through Instagram. She literally sent me A PENNY, said, “Quit fucking asking me for money fam” and then blocked me. FML
Today, I got scammed and lost thousands of dollars, but my best friend would rather post on Instagram than reply to my texts. FML
Today, the guy who owes me $300 put a meme on Facebook that said, “In 2023, I’m gonna move on from the past, so if I owe you money, sorry but I’ve moved on.” FML
Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me. In her words, “Liking you fucked up my brain.” Later that afternoon, she posted a story of her with another dude’s arm around her. FML
Today, I accidentally followed and inboxed my crush from my dog’s Instagram account. FML
Today, I was no longer being considered for the counselor position at a prestigious university because of a social media check. It wasn’t anything on my profile, it was comments I'd made on public posts, laced with profanity and insults towards other commenters. There goes my Christmas. FML
Today, there was an Instagram post featuring a couple’s vacation spot, saying, “Tag the one you’d love to share this vacation with.” My boyfriend tagged his friend he swears is “one of the guys”. Everytime I confront him over these red flags, he says I’m “overreacting.” FML
Today, the new cute guy at work friended me, but when he saw all my posts about how I’m going to Australia in a week for a 2-year work study, he posted a sarcastic comment, then unfriended me. FML
Today, I saw a picture of my creepy uncle and me on Facebook, which he had captioned "Me and my woman," and posted several lewd comments on. I guess he forgot I'm his friend on Facebook. FML
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