Today, I was framed for hacking a Facebook account. I’m a 17 year-old cybersecurity major. Really? FML
Today, I got a Facebook friend request from an ex-schoolmate from my high school. He was the same piece of shit who used to bully me at the time. He's now a psychologist. I guess my life was meant to be bollocks. FML
Today, as I was excited to celebrate our second anniversary, I paid for my girlfriend's three hour trip down and dinner, only for her to come over, break up with me, and then leave. Her Instagram story later read, "Don't let anything spoil your mood." FML
Today, I received an e-mail from a place I'd interviewed at, telling me they won’t be offering me the position. They came across an old Twitter account of mine, where I posted X-Rated content and sometimes stereotypical and dark humor. I don’t even remember the e-mail and password so that I can deactivate it. FML
Today, my girlfriend said I make too many demands of her, and that I'm being unreasonable, I’m sorry but when dating surely it’s reasonable to expect conversation, intimacy, date nights, sex on occasion. Basically, if it’s not sitting on TikTok or Instagram, anything I want she says is “unreasonable.” FML
Today, I did an actual double take when my son complained about having to block the phone number of his most recent one-night stand when she got pregnant, but luckily he gave her a fake name, so he doesn’t have to delete his Facebook. How many grandkids do I have out there you little prick? FML
Today, I made a TikTok video in which you could clearly but accidentally see my nipples through my shirt. You can imagine some of the comments I've started getting. FML
Today, my latest date told me to lose his number and never contact him again all because I have "pronouns" in my Instagram bio. FML
Today, I stalked my boyfriend's ex again. I have come to the realization that I look just like her. I’m that girl. FML
Today, I was berated, then unfriended and blocked on Facebook by an Ukrainian girl, all because I reacted with a “Care” on Facebook on her status about her family back home dealing with the war. Apparently, I’m a “hypocrite” for voting for warmonger Biden, thus “getting them in this mess.” Huh? FML
Today, I tried reaching out to a girl on Facebook I thought I ended on good terms with after three dates. Not only did she not accept my friend request, she also disabled all friend requests. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend of several months to post a picture of us. He deleted his Facebook instead. FML
Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status, saying, "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML
Today, someone left a comment on our company Facebook page, and my manager told me what to respond, but the VP didn’t like it. Guess who’s now suspended for a couple weeks with no pay. FML
Today, my sister is famous after lying on TikTok about being abused as a child. Everyone believes her and she's selling books and scamming people out of money. She also keeps posting videos saying the family is tormenting her. None of us have spoken to her in almost a year. FML
Today, I got banned from an art group and put in Facebook jail because I made fun of my own artwork, which I'd posted in a group. I guess you're not allowed to be your own worst critic. FML
Today, after almost four years of friendship. My "good friend" blocked me on Facebook, after I joked with him about his team losing. I'm a huge fan of the winning team. FML
Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her Twitter account to complain about me. FML
Today, I saw a Facebook post from my mom about my cancer, how she’s exhausted caring for me, and quit her job to be by my side, blah blah blah. The woman hasn’t set foot in my house in 11 months after I got a restraining order against her, and my "cancer" is a mole I’m getting removed next week. FML
Today, someone hacked my Facebook and is posting countless pictures of poop, saying it’s mine. I'm beyond embarrassed. FML
Today, I learned why my ex dumped me. Her current boyfriend asked her out every single day for a year and a half on Facebook. She figured that if he was that committed, he must really like her. She didn't even meet him until right before she dumped me. They knew nothing almost about each other when they hooked up. FML
Today, while chatting with my work friend, our work photographer walked in saying she needed two people for a photo for our company social media. My friend said OK, and without hesitation the photographer said, while side-eyeing me, “Great. I’ll go see who else might be free to be in the picture with you.” FML
Today, out of pure boredom, I created a Twitter account. Looking for pages to follow, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend is actually someone's husband. A month ago he posted a picture of himself and "The love of his life", wishing her a happy 30th birthday. FML
Today, my coworker asked me to add her on Facebook. She has a common name, so I picked the one I thought was her. After no response for a while, I asked for the right spelling. She saw the one I thought was her and said, “I can’t believe you thought I was that ugly.” She wasn't joking. FML
Today, I found out on Facebook that my mom and step-dad have an open marriage. To make matters worse, my step-dad shamed me for not being more sex positive. FML
Today, I found out via Whatsapp status about a girl's outing of a group I'm in. I wasn't invited. I'm 35 and it's high school all over again. FML
Today, a woman reached out to me on Twitter to ask me if my dad was OK, since she talks to him every day and they haven't talked in a few days. She also doesn't know if he's in prison or not. My father left when I was 3, and I haven't talked to him in months. FML
Today, my mother is mad at me for deleting my Facebook account. I actually deleted the account because I'd had enough of putting up with her criticizing comments on every Facebook post I made. FML
Today, my crush started uploading pictures and writing sweet messages about a girl on her status, so I assumed that she was into girls, and lost all hope. Turns out that the girl in question had passed away, and she was remembering her. FML
Today, my now ex-girlfriend dumped me because I refuse to open an account on Facebook, Instagram or whatever. Four years ago, I had to retire from social media for good because another ex-girlfriend was harassing me frequently. No, I didn't have any children with that ex, if that's what you think. FML
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