Pranks

Kinda sus behavior

By dumped and dusted - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 153

You deserved it 2 114

Where is it?

By beezybees - 20/02/2010 01:54 - United States

Today, I lost the beautiful necklace my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's day. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. My sister held the bag while I dug through the stinking trash, then after I cleaned everything up, took it out of her pocket and said she was pretending it was lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 515

You deserved it 2 891

Limited edition prank

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Hopkinsville

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 713

You deserved it 4 327

New phone, who dis?

By Raleigh - 13/10/2024 16:00 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 134

Alexa, play "No Fun" by The Stooges

By Anonymous - 15/02/2022 21:59

Today, I was supposed to be meeting my daughter's boyfriend, but my wife has locked me in the basement until he leaves, so there’s no chance of me tormenting the boy. Quite wise on her part, I had all kinds of evil ideas, but now I’m locked in here, I’m bored as hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 2 598

Good one, dude

By poop hands - 20/12/2016 03:50 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, working as a CNA, my nurse convinced me that in order to collect a stool sample, you had to have the patient take a dump in your hand. I only found out he was kidding after I collected the sample. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 006

You deserved it 5 076

NO SNACKS

By face - 25/03/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, my friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind my back and printed 300 pages with my face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 286

You deserved it 10 702

Cheers

By toastynippies - 24/02/2015 19:32 - United States

Today, my mom sent me a picture of a blank piece of paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 283

You deserved it 3 229

Little tease

By pickles! - 03/06/2022 14:00

Today, I was at a friend's house teasing her with a pickle. She hates them so I thought it would be funny to pretend to deep throat it. Her dad came in and startled me so bad, I inhaled it. She had to call 911 while he performed the Heimlich maneuver. I’m no longer welcome back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 1 355

Morons either way

By Anonymous - 28/07/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I knew my coworker was stealing my lunch, so I made a sandwich with tons of incredibly spicy peppers. He took a bite, shrieked in pain, and ran off sobbing. Unfortunately, he was also in an emergency meeting with an important client, so now my whole department looks like a bunch of morons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 111

Fight club

By Anonymous - 12/07/2023 00:02

Today, I had the absolute pleasure of introducing my Karen boss to a Karen customer. The screaming lasted over an hour and I filmed the whole damn thing for laughs. She then docked my pay for not working for that hour, but damn was it worth it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 722

Good one, mom

By hairdresser - 18/10/2009 15:27 - Thailand

Today, my mum started yelling at me for leaving scissors on my desk, which my five year-old sister found and chopped all her hair off. She had a lump of hair as proof. After three minutes of her yelling, me crying and apologizing, she laughed and said she was joking. She'd just given my sister a haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 082

You deserved it 5 226

Pranked, level 2000

By Poopyhead - 08/11/2009 19:14 - Ireland

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 760

You deserved it 15 749

Classic prank

By CelibateHero - 05/10/2013 06:31 - United States - Notre Dame

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 014

You deserved it 3 511

Never mess with CPS

By how is that funny - 10/09/2022 06:30

Today, my idiot husband put a can of cat food in our daughter's lunchbox as a "joke". The school called CPS. Now we have to go to a hearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 280

People are awful

By Hazel - 10/10/2023 22:00

Today, I put up lost dog signs and even posted a Facebook post regarding my lost dog. I keep getting “Restricted” calls taunting me, saying they found my dog and are not giving her back. I’m unable to trace the calls and this is making me more upset and frustrated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 111

Dick move

By Gabby - 14/06/2021 04:01

Today, a police officer showed up to my house and informed me that my boyfriend was killed in an accident. Later, I found out it was a prank set up by a friend. He thought faking his death would be easier than confessing that he was leaving me for someone else. He didn’t want to see me get "upset". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 84

Well played

By FUCK THE PIGS - 26/01/2013 20:44 - United States - Oakland

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 600

You deserved it 4 191

You tried…

By Trapfail - 09/08/2021 04:01

Today, I claimed I was pregnant to get back at my ex and the girl he cheated on me with. I tagged him in my "ultrasound" pic, saying it was his baby, hoping she would dump him. Turns out there’s this thing called "reverse image search" and he posted the Google page where I got the ultrasound from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 7 872

New receipe just dropped

By Anonymous - 29/01/2025 20:00 - United States - Glendale

Today, feeling ravenous and hungover, I sneakily ate my roommate’s leftover pizza. Halfway through, I realized it wasn’t pizza, it was a frozen waffle with ketchup and cheese they’d left in the box as a trap. I fell for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 1 087

That's… a crime?

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 05:01 - Canada

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that I see a therapist every week because, amongst other things, I'm terrified of being locked in a room. He didn't believe me, so he locked me in the bathroom "for a laugh." I had a panic attack and passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 793

You deserved it 143

Great prank guys, love it

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 00:12 - United States - Yorktown Heights

Today, after working like a caffeine-fuelled thunderstorm for 9 hours straight on an art project, my 2 friends informed me that it was due next week. I slept for 10 hours, and then went to my class without my project, thinking I lucked out in the long run. Clearly not, as it was due today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 214

You deserved it 4 042

Drama!

By fuckparents - 09/01/2012 23:01 - United States

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 833

You deserved it 3 669

Trickster

By OFukd - 03/12/2022 08:00 - United States

Today, my after-school community center received a complaint from an upset parent and they’re threatening to “sue” for traumatizing their child. Apparently, someone replaced all the books in the Little Free Library with the Kama Sutra and pornography books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 175

By MGZ - 19/10/2009 02:33 - United States

Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 410

You deserved it 8 589

The opposite of a good idea

By gorokhan2 - 27/04/2020 17:00

Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 4 483

Tasty

By souped - 10/12/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I took a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted something rotten. Turns out my grandma knows I drink her soy milk, so she swapped it with expired chicken broth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 697

You deserved it 42 698

By CarrieRedburn - 27/07/2011 08:09 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog, and a whole bunch of teenagers were driving around my neighborhood throwing water balloons at people. They followed me for 3 blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 535

You deserved it 2 889

Bashed

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 827

You deserved it 145

Merde alors !

By Anonymous - 06/05/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a long overdue vacation to France with my husband and young daughter. As revenge for an earlier prank, my sister has apparently taught my daughter to swear profusely in French. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 959

You deserved it 9 382

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 815

You deserved it 9 526

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 613

You deserved it 19 770

Today, I went out with my best friend, his girlfriend, and a girl they've been wanting to introduce to me. I thought they wanted to set us up, but it turns out they're a throuple and wanted me to be the first to know. I think I'm the first fourth wheel in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 386

You deserved it 398

Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in their fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids are 4 and 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 367

You deserved it 58 737

Today, my mother and I got complimented on how we look alike. She's a German blonde and I was adopted from Vietnam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 123

Today, after 4 years of trying to convince my husband, a landscaper, of the risks of skin cancer, he finally decided to put on sunscreen. Why? His horoscope told him to take care of his skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 507

You deserved it 367