Anonymous · 14 April 2025, 20:00 ·New Orleans, United States

Bon appétit, boys

Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359 You deserved it 140

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OnTheReceivingEnd · 13 April 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Beliefs

Today, I made the mistake of disagreeing with a friend I'd known and cared about for 25 years. The disagreement? She wanted me to believe the exact same way she did. I treated her with dignity and respect for her beliefs, even though I didn't agree with them, but I didn't make that a requirement. She did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396 You deserved it 109

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Anonymous · 13 April 2025, 15:00 ·United States

NIMBYs all over

Today, I spoke out at a town hall about the lack of affordable housing. I was called a “Marxist” and told to “Move to Canada” by a guy who was vaping and wearing a “Don't Tread on Me” shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443 You deserved it 136

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nearly20yetasfearfulasatoddlerhavingnightmares · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Allen, United States

Jumpy

Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 595 You deserved it 9 336

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Anonymous · 13 April 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Party pooped

Today, it was my Sweet Sixteen. Only two of my friends showed up, and they spent the whole night texting their boyfriends. After several failed attempts to do something fun or even get them to talk to me, I got up and left the room, and didn't come back. They didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535 You deserved it 102

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sheslayedgames · 12 April 2025, 00:00 ·Powell, United States

Kinda vague but oddly specific

Today, you talked loud enough for me to hear you calling me the bad guy, while we’re in the same house. The walls are paper thin. After 19 years, I find out our friendship was a lie? That you used me just to make my parents happy? And I find out now, three weeks before I move out? This is beyond hurtful. I can’t take this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306 You deserved it 158

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phonegotlostinthepark · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Auckland, New Zealand

You're welcome!

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 523 You deserved it 4 221

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Kelly · 11 April 2025, 00:00 ·Seattle, United States

I hate shopping

Today, I tried a polo neck sweater on at a store, and when I tried to take it off, it got stuck halfway over my head. I panicked and tugged harder, only to realize I was now stuck inside, unable to get it off. A store employee finally saw me struggling and came help me. I'm never going back there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192 You deserved it 109

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a fatty · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Feed me and shut up

Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 805 You deserved it 36 650

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Overzealous cop of the day · 10 April 2025, 12:00 ·New York, United States

What did you expect?

Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 You deserved it 1 500

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Anonymous · 10 April 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Bathroom breakdown

Today, I used the public restroom at a park. After washing my hands, I went to dry them, only to realize there were no paper towels. I thought the air dryer would work, but it broke halfway through, leaving me standing there, awkwardly fanning my hands with my arms spread wide. A group of teenagers walked in and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182 You deserved it 316

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louise · 9 April 2025, 20:00 ·United States

I don't know what I'm doing

Today, I went to the grocery store and used the self-checkout for speed. Everything was going fine until I tried to weigh a watermelon. The machine beeped every time, but the price didn’t show up, just an error message. I tried to weigh it again and again, until an employee came over, sighed, and said, “That’s a cantaloupe, not a watermelon.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 You deserved it 515

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·London, United Kingdom

It wasn't me

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 090 You deserved it 3 657

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Anonymous · 8 April 2025, 15:00 ·Kansas City, United States

Nil - nil

Today, I got into an online debate about reproductive rights, healthcare, gun laws, and education in the US, all in one thread. Someone told me, “This is the greatest country in the world.” I asked, “Based on what?” He blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372 You deserved it 301

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Sunshinenwhiskey · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·Dallas, United States

Brother in law enforcement

Today, I found out why my sister hasn't been answering my texts or phone calls. Her husband blocked my number on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 199 You deserved it 1 056

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Anonymous · 7 April 2025, 09:00 ·Boulder, United States

Curb your curb

Today, on my way out of a coffee shop, I tripped over a curb while holding a full cup of coffee. The coffee flew in slow motion, hitting a stranger right in the face. As I stood there, frozen, I realized the puddle of coffee was now surrounding both of us. All I could do was apologize while trying to avoid a public fistfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 104

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

Lose-lose

Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 503 You deserved it 8 024

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Chris · 6 April 2025, 22:00 ·Canada

Cool cool cool

Today, I saw my ex and his new girlfriend walking towards me. To make things less awkward, I tried to be cool and give him a high five. He misjudged and went for a fist bump. I ended up slapping his hand, and it felt like it lasted forever, all while she just smirked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172 You deserved it 329

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Anonymous · 6 April 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Just another day

Today, I went to buy oat milk and got caught in an active shooter lockdown at the store. Oh, America, the only place where plant-based dairy is more accessible than mental healthcare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459 You deserved it 134

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Anonymous · 5 April 2025, 15:00 ·Canada

The golden cousin

Today, I went to a family reunion and made the mistake of wearing the same shirt as my cousin, who is known for always wanting to be the center of attention. She took one look at me, pointed, and said, “Oh, I see you’re copying me now, huh?” Then, my aunt overheard and said, “Well, she is your cousin, so it’s not like it’s a crime.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 349 You deserved it 66

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Gerry0 · 5 April 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Naked truth

Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 You deserved it 436

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Anonymous · 4 April 2025, 22:00 ·United States

I hate hiking now

Today, I was trying to take a cute selfie on a hiking trip. As I leaned against a boulder to get the perfect shot, a squirrel jumped out of nowhere and attacked me, probably thinking I was after its food. I dropped my phone into a creek, and my friends took a picture of me freaking out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167 You deserved it 442

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Anonymous · 4 April 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Mucky

Today, I discovered that my body wash bottle's top came open last night without me realizing it. Space is limited in my bedroom so the only place I could put it (I live with my parents and they can be absentminded) was behind the TV. The good news is it didn't get on the TV; the bad news is it's all over the stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 You deserved it 376

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Anonymous · 4 April 2025, 03:00 ·Anaheim, United States

Stir crazy

Today, even if I clean the whole house, my husband refuses to wash dishes if I cook, as I “use too many”, because when he cooks he only uses one pot. His “cooking” is dumping all the week's leftovers into a pot and calling it “stir fry.” It’s disgusting and he’s the only one that eats it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477 You deserved it 100

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Anonymous · 4 April 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Oh hi!

Today, I was at a theme park with an old friend. We were standing in line when she reached into my shorts and pulled my thong so high it was almost to my shoulders. It would’ve been fine if I didn’t see my boss behind us in line who saw the whole thing. She waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406 You deserved it 125

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Anonymous · 3 April 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Cozy

Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425 You deserved it 92

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Olivia · 3 April 2025, 15:00 ·Monterey, United States

Speech! Speech!

Today, I had to give a speech at my sister’s wedding. I spent weeks preparing every word. When it was finally my turn, I stood up to the microphone and froze. Instead of something like, "Congratulations, I’m so happy for you both," I mixed up whatever jokes I'd prepared in my brain, and blurted out, “I’m in love with your husband.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 178 You deserved it 497

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 237 You deserved it 4 093

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Anonymous · 3 April 2025, 03:00 ·Portland, United States

Regular occurrence

Today, my family’s usual Sunday dinner turned into a shouting match over politics. My uncle called me a “brainwashed socialist,” my cousin accused me of being a “capitalist pig,” and my grandma just sat there eating pie, which made me want to call her a "fence-sitting centrist", which is when I realized that maybe we shouldn't ever talk about politics again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147 You deserved it 484

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Anonymous · 2 April 2025, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

Never enough, never

Today, after I took my mom her favourite wine, a card, and an expensive orchid for her conservatory, and also spent all Saturday afternoon with her and took her out for lunch, what did she post on Facebook? Her disappointment that I didn’t spend Mother’s Day with her on Sunday because I was working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507 You deserved it 74

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