Health

Tired as hell

By Anonymous - 17/08/2021 02:01

Today, I have to wake up in 3 hours for work, the medicine that should've made me sleep 8 hours straight failed and I woke up an hour later, not being able to sleep anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 72

Vicious circle

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 10:01

Today, I have a permanent illness. Whenever I'm too unwell to manage the housework or children, my hubby does even less than usual. As soon as I'm well enough, I have a mountain of work to do, which makes me sick again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 144

Customers from hell

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 06:01

Today, an older customer ran up to me and did a open-mouthed, panting growl in my face, with her face 2 inches from my mine. She then laughed and said, “I only do this to men” and then left the store without buying anything. My mask was down and she didn’t have one at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 280

Bad omen

By KarmasPlaything - 14/08/2021 02:01 - United States - Shallotte

Today, I’m on vacation with my fiancé and his kids. We came to see a wedding venue. Too bad I severely sprained my ankle. I also sprained that same ankle when he proposed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 125

Healthcare is a human right

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 21:01 - United States - Edwardsville

Today, I was yelled at by my mom because I didn't hear her. I'm only 16, but I swear, to some extent, I'm losing my hearing, I don't even know what from. I've told her this, but she can't hear out of one ear, so of course it wouldn't feel real. I do feel bad about it, but I haven't heard her every time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 80

Protein source

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 17:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 157

Math ain't easy

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 15:59 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, as I struggle with dyscalculia, I set up some counters so I could knit up a perfect square. Turns out the counters actually made it worse. I have three failed attempts and I'm stuck on number 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 107

Free healthcare, now!

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 10:02

Today, I flew to America for my dad's funeral. I broke my vials of insulin and went to a pharmacy for a refill. No one told me they charge for insulin in America. One vial cost 270 dollars, the funeral is three days away and after booking a hotel, I have 6 dollars to feed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 862

You deserved it 239

Spooky

By Anonymous - 12/08/2021 22:00

Today, my boyfriend had a nightmare, talking in his sleep about not hurting himself anymore or "auntie Nat Nat" will put him "back in the home with the mean doctors and the sicky medicine." WHAT THE FUCK? FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 108

Fight yoga, try stress

By Dawn - 12/08/2021 08:01

Today, I went to a yoga class, thinking it would be good for my stiff calf from running. I pulled my back out doing the downward dog. Now can't get out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 153

Natural birth

By Anonymous - 12/08/2021 04:01

Today, during labor, I farted every time I pushed with very deep sounds. I was so ashamed. I pushed so hard, I pooped and splashed the nurse in front of me right in the face. Everyone stopped laughing and the nurse didn’t talk until baby came. When my husband called my in-laws, it’s the first thing he told them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 474

You deserved it 169

Sixth sense

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 17:01 - United States - Wyoming

Today, I started crying at work for absolutely no reason. My pregnant coworker walked up to me and said, "Pregnancy hormones, huh?" I never even told her I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 278

Gas giant

By StinkBomber - 10/08/2021 23:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, while dropping my daughter off at soccer practice I was talking about my gym routine. Her friend said, "Your dad's going to be the new god of thunder." My daughter was like, "He already is, but for different reasons." Everyone got the joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 218

Get vaccinated

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 04:00

Today, two patients died. Both had Covid. I'm still trying to deal with the issues last year left me with and we're right back in the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 184

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 107

Walk out

By Anonymous - 10/08/2021 20:01

Today, I'd started dialysis and the cap at the end of my PD tube came off. It’s meant to stop infection, and it’s filled with betadine. I said I had to go to the office. My teacher wouldn’t let me, so I walked out of class. I got detention for trying to prevent getting a major infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 67

SIKE!

By Anonymous - 10/08/2021 16:01

Today, my psychiatrist diagnosed me with a personality disorder. So now I have no friends, no job, no love, but I've got a personality disorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 121

It creeps up on you

By Anonymous - 10/08/2021 14:01

Today, I looked down while taking a piss and could only see my belly button. Wow, I’m fat now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 423

Don't dead open inside

By that’s not how this works! - 09/08/2021 23:01 - United States - Hesperia

Today, my mom went on a rant about how insulin and other diabetic medications are evil western poisons, and that she can control her condition naturally on her own. That would be great, if she actually ate right and exercised instead of just using meditation to “think” herself healthy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 79

We're in Hell

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 20:01

Today, it's Monday. I'm living in hangover hell. Work is hell. Moving my head is hell. Did I party all weekend? Yes. Except that it was just me and my cat. Nothing was consumed other than several bottles of wine and tubs of Ben & Jerry's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 1 293

Incitation

By Carnifex - 09/08/2021 07:59

Today, I'm an overweight guy who has lost 40lbs, and I found out my online dating profile was disabled for encouraging violence. It was a picture of me, in a bulletproof vest, in my uniform at work, because it was the best picture I got thanks to my weight loss journey, and I'm only 50 pounds away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 160

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 14:01

Today, I told my mother-in-law that I was going through postpartum depression and was put on a antidepressant to help. Her response was, "Great, now we have a pill head in the family." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 129

Get help soon

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 06:01

Today, I realized I rarely go outside anymore due to hyperacusis, social anxiety, depression, and sensory issues. I'm also afraid to tell my family and friends about my problems, because they don't understand how bad it really is. Looks like I'm doomed to be depressed and alone my whole life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 230

Hangry dude

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 20:01

Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 251

Boxed in

By cuz803 - 06/08/2021 09:48

Today, I've recently been able to enjoy my life after a long depressing quarantine. I've been able to go to the gym and train in my favorite activity, boxing. Now I can't train for 2 weeks after having surgery on both my Achilles heel and PRP therapy. Hello again, misery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 218

cuz803 tells us more.

cuz803 44

Thursday 5 August 2021 20:07

OP here. Most of y'all know me. This is my 3rd FML posted this year so I got a little streak going. Update: the doctor who performed surgery on me has been hospitalized. I'm not sure why yet. I need a follow-up appointment to get my stitches removed. That being said, my delay may be longer than expected before I can lace the gloves again.

Pranks are terrible

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 23:01 - United States - Humble

Today, my sister threw my water bottle as a joke. When I stepped off the bleachers, my right foot lost its footing and my other foot followed. Now I have two sprained ankles at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 86

Deniers

By La theRona - 05/08/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I’m the only one in my family who's ever taken Covid seriously. This seemed to really annoy my siblings, so much so that they chased me, pulled off my mask, and dramatically coughed all over me. We’re all adults and though they found it hilarious, I’ve been having panic attacks all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 452

Creativity stifled

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at my psychologist's. We were talking about creative outlets and I told him that I wanted to start playing Dungeons and Dragons again. He starts chuckling, and then says, "Oh, you were serious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 284

You deserved it 22 475

Posturing

By Anonymous - 05/08/2021 02:01 - Canada

Today, I researched how to manage chronic tailbone pain from excessive sitting. One of the most consistent pieces of advice was to lean forward when working. My posture is already so bad, my chiropractor says I'm one of his worst clients of all time. I work a desk job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 195

Pampered

By Pinsky - 04/08/2021 19:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, the 61 year-old Vice-President of our company complained about a blister to four landscapers working outside in the July heat, for 10 minutes. He then made me carry his lunch bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 156

FML on Facebook

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The Top

The Top

Today, I had to inform my roommate that dry shampoo, deodorant, and perfume are not the same as a shower. It's been two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 979

You deserved it 2 969

Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 690

You deserved it 6 271

Today, my wife is unreasonably mad at me for telling our kids to call toilet paper, "Butt Floss". FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 765

You deserved it 24 648

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 504

You deserved it 6 634

Today, as I was translating for a patient to get an MRI, the tech asked if I had metal in my body. In front of the patient, I had to disclose that my nipples were pierced, so I couldn’t accompany the patient bedside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 451

Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 101