Stigma

By Anonymous - 28/01/2022 10:59

Today, my girlfriend revealed she'd had an abortion. I wasn’t even aware she’d been pregnant, and she admitted it’s because my grandad and two of my siblings have autism, and she didn’t want to risk having an autistic child and dealing with the shame. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 283
You deserved it 174

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I have a younger brother pretty deep on the spectrum, it can be REALLY tough especially at younger ages. For someone to decide not to have a child with a high chance of being on the spectrum, I can fully understand this. I don't call that ableism, I call it understanding you limitations as a parent. Given the high chance of being unable to handle it and causing long term issues for both the parent and child. The "shame" part though is pretty gross though, there is nothing wrong with being on the spectrum or having a child on the spectrum. the "shame" comment would be the deal breaker to me, she could have gone for adoption without that comment.

I don't see why it's shameful to raise an autistic child -- it's certainly difficult. If she said she lacked the courage to raise an autistic child, you'd probably be more sympathetic.

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Dump. Her. Only shameful thing here is her and her ableism. Anyone with a uterus is entitled to an abortion for any reason. Aborting babies because they might be disabled or autistic is ableism. Both are full stop sentences.

I have a younger brother pretty deep on the spectrum, it can be REALLY tough especially at younger ages. For someone to decide not to have a child with a high chance of being on the spectrum, I can fully understand this. I don't call that ableism, I call it understanding you limitations as a parent. Given the high chance of being unable to handle it and causing long term issues for both the parent and child. The "shame" part though is pretty gross though, there is nothing wrong with being on the spectrum or having a child on the spectrum. the "shame" comment would be the deal breaker to me, she could have gone for adoption without that comment.

She's a cold-hearted bitch to reveal this AFTER the fact. If you ever want kids, leave her ignorant ass.

I don't see why it's shameful to raise an autistic child -- it's certainly difficult. If she said she lacked the courage to raise an autistic child, you'd probably be more sympathetic.

One of my kids has a son who is strongly on the spectrum. It made his and his wife’s plan on having 3 kids come to a screeching halt because raising him has been VERY challenging. It’s been challenging for our entire family, because he may be 7, but he is not very communicative and when he gets upset, he throws anything he can grasp or throws himself on the floor. So I can’t blame your girlfriend for not wanting to go through that, but I am not ashamed of my grandson either. That’s the part where she crossed the line for me, there is nothing shameful about being autistic.

Sucks for you but i understand. Im on the spectrum myself and its one of the reasons why I don’t want children of my own

The shame??? Wow. I hope she's no longer your girlfriend.

actual autistic person here. sure, I still function normally and all that, but no matter what your child has you shouldn't be ashamed of it. (no offense) your girlfriend sounds like a terrible person for doing that shit. I hope you get past this. and please find somebody that would love their child no matter what was wrong with them.

"Shame" is a poor choice of words but she isn't wrong to feel the way she does. I can't imagine the challenge and sacrifice that goes into raising a handicapped child.

Does she know that Einstein was most likely on the spectrum? She could have killed a future genus smh. Also the child could have come out perfectly “normal” as well.