Today, I was chatting to a girl in the chemist's and was about to ask her to go for coffee when the chemist came out of the back room and asked me loudly if the rash was only on my genitals or if it had spread further. FYI the chemist is my uncle and he was joking. I didn’t end up asking her out. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, when my neighbor came over to ask about a serious rash her child had, she totally passed by me, the EMT/firefighter, to ask the hippy pastry chef what she thought of it, and if she had oils to "cure" it. So much for my job. FML
Today, I asked my crush out for coffee but she wanted to go shopping. When she pulled me into the dressing room for my opinion on a bikini, I told her this was too fast for a first date. She looked at me in absolute horror. She thought I was gay, as in a harmless gay friend she could take shopping. FML
Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML
Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to "be a man and deal with it." FML
Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML
Today, at my job in a chemists, I had a customer ask me which acne cream I would recommend. I picked up the brand I use and told her that I've been using it for a year now. After pausing to stare at my face for a second, she thanked me and picked up the competing brand instead. FML
Today, I asked my doctor out on a date. He had his nurse turn me down. FML
Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me, "Have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "You mean with other people?" FML
Today, I asked a girl I like out. She ended up having an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard. I guess that's a no. FML
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Top comments
tiptoppc 21
Shoulda said “You would know if it spreads based on the prescriptions filled for the local whorehouse you visit every night…” If he’s gonna tank you, torpedo his ass too!
wrecklesswfire 3
hahaha burn! you’re uncle is a star!
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Comments (3)
wrecklesswfire 3
hahaha burn! you’re uncle is a star!
tiptoppc 21
Shoulda said “You would know if it spreads based on the prescriptions filled for the local whorehouse you visit every night…” If he’s gonna tank you, torpedo his ass too!
Vesi 30
Umm.. does your uncle happen to look like Nick Cage and call you the Prime Merlinian when not around other people..? =)